Outtakes: from 30 Days of Photographs III

Here's my favorite outtake from the 30 Days of Photographs III torture tour...

This condom dispenser might not seem unusual to you... until you put it into context.  I took this photo at the Christine Lavin concert I went to a couple weeks ago.  Yes, they have free condoms in both the men's and women's bathrooms... at church.  I don't go to church often, but when I do it's to the Unitarian Church here in Rochester.

I know what you're thinking... she only goes for the condoms.

Want me to pick you up a couple, next time I decide to get up early on a Sunday morning?

Now, if only I could have gotten Fake Barbie to hang out of the top of this condom dispenser, (preferably wearing a condom on her absurdly skinny legs,) this photo would have been perfect.  Maybe next time.

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

Blackout: Day 30 of 30 Days of Photographs III

After burning our candles at both ends for the past month with this photo challenge, it's finally lights out... just in time for Frankenstorm.  Keep safe out there!

Until next time...

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

The City: Day 29 of 30 Days of Photographs III

With Frankenstorm rapidly approaching, I felt it imperative to brave the rain to document what is happening in my city... and stock up on a few supplies while I am there.  

Nothing says Rochester like Wegman's.  People come from around the world to marvel at the wonders to be found in this supermarket of supermarkets. Alec Baldwin even talks about it when he's on Letterman.  It's a virtual city within a city.  This is the newest addition... my neighborhood store being rebuilt.  It looks like it will even include underground parking.

The bad news... I will have to venture into the 'burbs to shop for my groceries while they close my beloved East Avenue Wegman's for TEN FREAKIN' WEEKS to tear down the old building, create a newer, larger parking lot, and stock the new building.

So forget Frankenstorm... I have to stock up for the ten weeks until my new Wegman's opens!

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

Autumn: Day 28 of 30 Days of Photographs III

Nothing says autumn like kids playing with leaves.  Lucky for me, I have plenty of helpers for today's prompt.

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

Kafkaesque: Day 27 of 30 Days of Photographs III

In honor of today's prompt, which has been terrorizing bloggers since the 30 Days of Photographs III challenge was announced, I have come up with not one, but two offerings. I couldn't decide between the two, so I decided to go ahead and use both of them.

I give you...

Kafkaesque Cattail

and on a lighter note...

Mesmerized by Metamorphosis

Disclaimer:  No Kafkaesque Barbies were harmed in the making of this post.

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

Heart: Day 26 of 30 Days of Photographs III

My Dearest Fake Barbie,

I know we've never met, but I feel I know you already.

Your beauty is beyond compare. I love everything about you, from your tiny feet to your grotesquely massive boobs. Those long, lithe legs make my heart race.  And your qwerty Q?  Divine!  That was what led me to believe we are soul mates.

Please say you will join me in the arbor I have created just for you.

I will give you my heart if you will only say, "Yes."  (Regretfully, I am unable to part with a kidney for you ... I thought I should be up front about that.)

You can find me at my secret lair, located behind some boxes in my basement.  (Please disregard the rather limp blow-up girl stashed in the corner.)

Come soon!  I have spent too many mornings without you.

Beyond fondly,

MikeWJ

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

Video: Day 25 of 30 Days of Photographs III

Last summer, in one of my rare cleaning frenzies, I finally got rid of all my videos.  Since I no longer had a working VCR, it seemed foolish to take up space with them.  Little did I know then that Ziva and Michael would choose "video" as a prompt.  Damn you two!  *shakes fist at Z & M* 

But, lucky for me, there were a few I couldn't bear to part with.

Here's one of them... you can't go wrong with Jimmy Stewart.  This movie just makes me happy.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm meeting Elwood P. Dowd and his dear friend Harvey for drinks.

After you...

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

M&M's: Day 24 of 30 Days of Photographs III

For M&M's I was going to post some graphic photos from a Morbidity and Mortality Conference, but then I figured that might be a little much.  I keep forgetting that most normal people don't have father-ex-laws who are medical examiners.

Instead, I'll take the easy way out... again.

Doesn't everyone have an M&M math book in their home library?  You should.  Because you never know when you're gonna need it!

Let's just say I'm well prepared for school tomorrow.   Mmmmm... dark chocolate!

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

Underwater: Day 23 of 30 Days of Photographs III

Do you know how difficult it is to photograph a fish with a phone while small children are tapping on the aquarium glass? That fish moved faster than Felix Baumgartner fell to earth!  Still, without the kidlets and the class pet, I wouldn't be able to keep my head above water on this prompt.

So, without further ado, I'd like to introduce you to Spike.  He's been rather despondent following the demise of Fluffy.  She was one foxy fish, what with her fantail and all.   One of these days we're going to have to get a new friend for Spike.

In the meantime, Spike will just have to content himself with being the king of his castle.

Now, can I please go drown myself?  Or at least drown my sorrows over this pathetic attempt at underwater photography?

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

Neutral: Day 22 of 30 Days of Photographs III

The threat to my belongings has just been neutralized...

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

Broken: Day 21 of 30 Days of Photographs III

I stand before you a broken woman.  Broken in body from assorted pratfalls and broken in spirit from twenty-one grueling days of this photo challenge.  

So as not to do myself in completely, something had to be done.  Therefore, the following visual warnings have been placed strategically around my home to help prevent further disasters...

Wish me luck!  I have a sneaky suspicion I'm going to need it.

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

Nails: Day 20 of 30 Days of Photographs III

I'll show you mine if you show me yours....

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

Steel: Day 19 of 30 Days of Photographs III

Steel?  I got nuthin'...

No great Charles Ebbets photo of steel workers having lunch high over the city on an I-beam.

No inside track on Bethlehem Steel trade secrets.

Guess I'll just have to steel myself against today's onslaught of four year olds and go to work...

The calm before the storm.

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

QWERTY: Day 18 of 30 Days of Photographs III

"So... just how old are you, Boom Boom?"  

Well, let's see...  I was around before electric typewriters.  I learned all about QWERTY when I took typing class in high school.

"Really?  Wait, what's a typewriter?"

Well, that's like a keyboard that's not hooked up to a computer and you have to run a piece of paper through it and there's a little mechanical arm for each letter that swings up and hits a piece of carbonized ribbon that runs between the arm and the paper, causing it to leave a mark in a shape of the letter on the paper.  There was no such thing as spell check back then, except for using a book called a dictionary to look up a word yourself.  Oh, and if you made a mistake, there was no delete function.  It was a bitch to make a correction.

"What's QWERTY?"

Silly, that's the starting order of the top line of letters on a typewriter or keyboard.  I learned touch typing which means you always used your left pinky to hit the Q, your left ring finger to hit the W, your left naughty finger to hit the E, your left pointer to hit the R and the T, and your right pointer to hit the Y.

"Damn, that sounds confusing! Can't you just use your thumbs or index fingers?"

Well, you could, but that wouldn't help you type fast enough to get a job as a secretary. That was one of the few jobs for women back then.  Now they call them clerks or administrative assistants. I hear some bosses have binders full of women who know how to do much more important stuff.

"Was it hard to get a job as a secretary?  Did they do anything besides type?"

Oh, yes!  They answered the phone and picked up their boss's cleaning and made coffee and took dictation.

Dictation?

"Where the boss talks and you write down what he's saying... in shorthand.  I took that in high school, too."

What's shorthand?

Here, see for yourself....

"WTF*?  Does that actually mean something?"

Sure, but hell if I remember...  it's been a long time since high school.  

"Damn... you must be old as shit."

Yeah...  Thanks for cheering me up.

*WTF = modern shorthand for, well, you know.

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

Coins: Day 17 of 30 Days of Photographs III

This prompt flummoxed me.  Why?  Because these days it seems like I don't have two coins to rub together.

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

Bullshit: Day 16 of 30 Days of Photographs III

Bullshit!  There's no question that if someone's going to step in it, it's going to be me.  

The other day I was reading a new book to the kidlets... Pete the Cat by James Dean.  In the book, Pete has some swell new white shoes, but he keeps stepping in stuff and changing their color.

So, I'm reading along merrily and come to this page...

A big, brown puddle?  Oh, please god, let him step in a pile of bullshit!

Not exactly appropriate for 4-year-olds, but one can always hope.  I need something to spice up my days.

No such luck, though...

Pete steps into a puddle of mud.

Then again, you never know what's actually in that pile of mud.

Oh, happy day!  *giggles inappropriately*  I love this book!

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

My Favorite Food: Day 15 of 30 Days of Photographs III

I love a variety of foods.  I'm just not a big fan of cooking.  To me, the best meal is the one that somebody else makes.  The meal is extra special if some magic elf does the dishes while I enjoy an after dinner coffee and dessert.

That said, since I'm not wealthy enough to dine out every night, I do sometimes cook.  This is one of our favorites:

This pizza was eaten in honor of my friend, Indigo Roth,
the famed British pizza connoisseur.

Homemade pizza... onions, peppers, olives and cheese for me; pepperoni with no cheese for the lactose intolerant Vlad.

Note:  My ex, a photo historian, always said food is the most difficult thing to photograph and he was correct... this photo doesn't do the pizza justice at all.  Unfortunately, there are only two slices left, so there won't be another attempt at making it look better.  (I'm the one with leftovers for tomorrow since Vlad demolished his half.  Poor Vlad... no pizza for breakfast.)

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

Secret: Day 14 of 30 Days of Photographs III

We all have our secrets.  Some are deep, dark, sordid things.  Others are more light-hearted.  Like secretly wishing we had learned how to twirl a baton when we were younger.  

I had front row seats at Christine Lavin's concert last night.

She can twirl 2 batons at once!  How cool is that?

I never learned how to do that, or play an accordion... but both seemed pretty cool when I was in Kindergarten.   Not so much now, but hey... we're all entitled to a few guilty secrets.

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

Calm: Day 13 of 30 Days of Photographs III

I work at the Home for Wayward Wee Ones, where conflict resolution is a major portion of our day.  Have you ever tried to reason with a preschooler?  Welcome to my world.

The first step in our conflict resolution process is "Approach calmly and stop any hurtful actions."

Most days I'm all mellow and peaceful and approach calmly.  Those years of practicing Transcendental Meditation pay off.  I know Maharishi is out there giggling as he levitates in some other dimension.

Other days, it's not so easy.  My blood pressure and anxiety skyrocket and "calm" seems like a foreign language.  For those days I have a whole different mantra...

"Better living through chemistry."

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.

Five: Day 12 of 30 Days of Photographs III

I'm bending the rules and doubling down on today's prompt, "Five".

That's because I'm sitting here watching the Vice-Presidential debate and the topic is Social Security.  I guess I'm supposed to like the Romney-Ryan ticket because they won't change Social Security for me because I'm over 

5 5

5 must be the magic number.

Of course, if I was under 55, I'd be totally screwed.   

I think I'll stick with Obama-Biden, thank you very much!

See... even Joe thinks Mr. Ryan's idea is laughable.   I love me some Joe Biden!

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My blogging friends, Michael and Ziva are sponsoring another 30 Days of Photographs challenge.  This is their third version of the challenge and my first attempt to meet it. To see how others have responded to the prompts, check in with Ziva at 30 Days of Photographs III.