Showing posts with label Breast Cancer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Breast Cancer. Show all posts

Sunday, April 6, 2014

"Wooters' Hooters" or "That time when my boob went to Florida without me"


I took another little detour from life recently, thanks to the wonders of modern medicine. For three weeks, no matter the weather, (and there WAS weather,) I faithfully showed up at the Lipson Cancer Center every morning at 8:15 for radiation treatment.



Let me tell you, it's all fun and games at the radiation department. You get to get tattoos, get naked, (well, partially,) and chill out to some pretty radical light shows. I was affectionately know as "Woot" by Sam, Paul & Amanda, the radiation technicians. They were quick to tell me I had "the best name, EVER!" I'm guessing it tickled their fancy to say they were treating Wooters' Hooters.

Anyway, I'd lay down on the table, put my arms above my head, and after lining things up with my new tattoos, they'd start drawing circles and X's on my boob with a sharpie to show where to shoot those ray beams. After they were done, they'd scurry out of the room and I'd lay perfectly still while the monster machine rotated around me and zapped the hell out of my boob.  


Basically easy and painless. No side effects other than a bit of fatigue, so I continued working full-time throughout the treatments.  

About a week after I "graduated" my boob began to get tender and change color, just as the doctor told me it would. Yes, my cancer boob started to look like it went to Florida without me. I slathered it with aloe vera lotion which helped a bit.  Next it got all raw and wearing a bra became impossible. Once that phase was over, I developed thick, dark, leathery skin all around the nipple and things started to itch.  Good times.

Now things are pretty much back to normal. For the time being anyway. Next up on the schedule... anti-estrogen meds for the next five years. Common side effects from those... same as menopause symptoms, particularly hot flashes. Been there, done that so I know what it feels like. It will seem like Florida in August all over again. Oh joy, oh rapture.

So look out world... my inner bitch is ready to rock and roll!

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Spot the Difference


As many of you know, I had a little surprise before the holidays.  Turns out I had a spot of breast cancer.  People started leaving pink ribbons on my doorstep and on the windshield of my car, much to my chagrin.

You know what's worse than finding out you have breast cancer, though?  Finding out on the same day you learned you have cancer that your car has only six weeks to live!  I was far more disturbed by that cheery piece of news from my mechanic than I was about the cancer.  After all, Old Blue and I have been together for 19 years and I was hoping we'd make it to our 20th anniversary.  Alas, it was not meant to be.  *sigh*  But I digress.  Back to the whole "my car's dying but I'm not" saga...

The holidays were filled with fun activities like biopsies and MRIs and being injected with radioactive isotopes and having a freakishly long needle stuck into my boob without any anesthetic!  Not only that, they just left it sitting there, poking out a good three inches!  It was like those first aid videos where the guy has the chunk of glass jutting out of his arm and they have to pack it with gauze and bandages to keep it from moving.  Except this time they put an adorable blue face mask over the needle after they packed gauze around it.  Stylin'!

After all that, the surgery was nothing!  They took out the cancer blob and some lymph nodes, then sewed, glued and taped me back together again.  They even gave me a cute little pit pillow made by hospital volunteers to keep my arm from bumping my incision.  I was home two hours after surgery, happily doped up and mellowed out in my recliner.

Trust me... I was feeling no pain!
Now three weeks post surgery you can hardly tell I had breast cancer.  Seriously!  I defy you to spot the difference:

Yeah... I went there.

I still have some fun stuff to contend with, (like 6 weeks of radiation,) but overall it's all good.  I'm kicking cancer's butt to the curb!


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