Saturday, October 8, 2011

I'm a Fun Person... Really!

I went to the doctor for my biennial physical last week.  All things considered, I'm in pretty good shape. 

Blood pressure = good
Cholesterol = good
Diabetes = none
Weight = not good, but on a downward turn since my last visit
EKG = normal
PPD = negative
Flu Shot = injected

I could balance on one foot, walk a straight line, touch my fingers to my nose without looking.

Yeah... not bad at all.

However, I started feeling a little discouraged when my internist stated rather than asked... "You're not sexually active, are you?" 

Excuse me?  Is it that obvious that I've lost my allure?  Don't I look like a fun person? 

How insulting!

So when he came to the part about asking me, in compliance with the New York State Health Department policy, "Would you like a test for HIV?"

Well, I had to redeem my self-esteem somehow...

I said, "Sure!"

Oh yeah!  Those folks down at the lab were going to think I'm one wild and crazy woman!  They probably took one look at me and no doubt had me pegged for a slutty intravenous drug using degenerate.  Good times!  Good times!

Geesh... the lengths I have to do these days to convince people I'm not all washed up! 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

On a more serious note...  get tested!

And just in case there was ever any doubt... I'm HIV negative.
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