Sunday, January 31, 2010

The World's Longest List of Questions Award

So, I got all excited because good ole Indigo gave me a Best Follower award... isn't it cool?

But then, like... I look to see what the requirements are for accepting the award and I notice there are the usual questions.... and questions... and more questions... and then even more questions.  WTF?  How many questions can there be?  Well, I finally made it to the bottom of the list and there were 41 of them!  This should really be called...

The World's Longest List of Questions Award

I mean, seriously!  That's enough questions to keep me busy from now until next October!  But, since I'll do anything to get some attention and I don't have anything better to do on a Sunday morning....   

1. What is your current obsession?
Uhhh... probably blogging.  And Dr Pepper, of course.  Blogging while drinking Dr Pepper!  Yay!

2. What are you wearing today?
Jeans, t-shirt, woolly socks & fleece pull-over... it's freakin' cold here!

3. What’s for dinner?
Probably going out for Chinese if Vlad swings by for a visit.  Otherwise, I'll probably fix something exotic like grilled cheese or a spinach and cheddar cheese omelet if I'm by myself.

4. What’s the last thing you bought?
A new dryer since my old one died and I'm tired of buying new underwear just to avoid doing laundry.  It's just not cost-effective.

5. What are you listening to right now?
The snores of Hickory the Wonder Dog and the sound of the furnace clicking on repeatedly.

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
Indigo is kinda nerdy, yet endlessly fascinating.  One of the most creative writers I've read!  I bet he'd be a blast to hang out with in real life...  what with all the outings to the Euthanasia Curry House and having bear and King around and all...

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
Seriously?  Probably a cozy cottage on a lake somewhere.  Nothing too big or too fancy.  Just something well constructed with level walk out access to the lake.

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
Flip flops, skort, t-shirt & sunglasses.

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Any warm beach with palm trees. 

10. Which language do you want to learn?
I totally messed myself up by taking Spanish and then Italian... now I can only come up with a mix of both.  So I'd probably choose something totally different, like French.

11. What’s your favourite quote?
So many to choose from.  Here's one I like....

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.
~Eleanor Roosevelt

or something a bit more earthy....

Nothing that a rooftop and an AK47 can't take care of.
~Janeane Garofalo in The Truth About Cats and Dogs

12. Who do you want to meet right now?
Conan O'Brien...   love that guy!  He's got a lot of class, the way he did his final sign off on The Tonight Show.

13. What is your favourite colour?
I have to choose just one?  Okay, green then.  Geesh!

14. Give us 3 styling tips that work for you.
I have absolutely no sense of style, so I guess I'd just have to say... shower, brush teeth, comb hair.

15. What is your dream job?
Writing integrated curriculum for primary grades from my cozy cottage on the lake.  (See number 7.)

16. What’s your favorite magazine?
Magazine?  I confess, I love reading People in the doctor's office.  (My shallow side is exposed!) 

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
$100 doesn't go very far these days.  It would probably be the most fun to use it to take some friends out to eat.

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?
My entire wardrobe is a fashion faux pas.  But if I had to choose just one thing, I'd say black socks with white sneakers... I hate that!

19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?
All the models wearing a size two or four... totally unrealistic and it causes so many young women to feel bad about themselves.  Shameful! 

20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?
Long enough to put up in a clip or pull back in a ponytail. 

21. What are you going to do after this?
Do all the laundry that's been piling up for the last two weeks.  (See # 4.)

22. What are your favourite movies?
I like watching movies to escape the drudgery of daily life.  It's my guilty pleasure.  In the action adventure category I love Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and True Lies.  (Ah-nold should really stick to making goofy movies like that instead of trying to run California.)    For chick flicks I'd say Sandra Bullock in While You Were SleepingTo Kill a Mockingbird with Gregory Peck is my favorite classic.  

23. What inspires you?
Books like Parker Palmer's The Courage to Teach.

24. What do your friends call you most commonly?
It's weird... they keep calling me Paula and I can't figure out why.

25. Would you prefer coffee or tea?
Depends... I have to have my coffee in the morning, but I also enjoy a lovely cuppa English Breakfast Tea with cream with desserts.

26. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
Go into "eat, sleep and watch television" mode. 

27. What makes you go wild?
I'm afraid I'm just too mild mannered to go truly wild... but I wish I could!  I really do!  I'd love to do something with wild abandon.

28. Which other blogs do you love visiting?
I have a rather extensive blog roll of people who entertain and amuse me.  Besides Indigo...  Jayne Martin, Quirkloon, Nonamedufus, Otin, and iDifficult are on my MUST read list.  They always cheer me up!  And I love the caption contests...  like Me-Me, Kristen and Dufus have.

29. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?
Chocolate Raspberry Ganache cake

30. How many tabs are turned on in your browser right now?

31. Favorite Season?
Spring... after the long winters we have here in Upstate New York, I love the fresh, warm days of spring! 

32. If I come to your house now, what would you cook for me?
Probably orange curry chicken. 

33. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?
Lock myself in my house and gorge on potato chips and Dr Pepper... I mean seriously... what else would you expect me to do?

34. What are you afraid of the most?
Seeing my child in physical or emotional pain.   Otherwise the basic "dying alone and in poverty" thing.

35. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Good thing I'm not wearing my glasses, so I can't actually see how I look.

36. What brings a smile on your face instantly?
Comments!  Comments!  I love feedback!

37. A word that you say a lot?
Oh, crap!

38. What would you do if you were made President for one day?
Provide universal health care for all!

39. What is that one thing that keeps you going?
The people I love.

40. What word drives you crazy when you hear it?
Pedagogy... for some reason I find that word really annoying!

41. What's your least favourite character trait?
Jealousy... totally unbecoming!

Apparently I have to add a question of my own, and tag a new set of people. Yikes!  No wonder this is such a freakin' long list of questions!  I'm going to be bold and say, to hell with another question!  Enough is enough!  (Not to mention the fact that I can't think of a damned thing that hasn't already been asked.)

As for the newest recipients of this Long Ass List of Questions Award:

1.  The Quirkster... because I want to see how many times she'll use the words zombie and Dr Pepper in her answers.

2.  Dufus... because I do have a question #42 for him... is that really you hanging from the clothes line?

3.  Jayne... because she's a kindred spirit and has supported me through emails and tweets, as well as at the CatLady's house.

4.  Gayle... because she's been such a loyal follower over the past couple of months.

Whew!  That took awhile!  If you made it through the entire list, thank you... you're a loyal follower!  Take one of those awards for yourself if you want it!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Felt Impressions: Theme Thursday

This week's Theme Thursday topic is actually two words...  "felt" and "impression".   (Those rascals over at Theme Thursday are definitely making us work for our supper this week!)  There's a great group of writers participating in Theme Thursday each week so be sure to go check them out. You'll be glad you did!  In the meantime, here's my offering for the week.

Felt and Impressions of Tuva*

That long ago trip to Tuva left a lasting impression on me, both literally and figuratively.  Everyone else I knew was doing their junior year abroad in Paris or Florence.  I was looking for something more exotic.

So when I saw the article on Tuva I thought, "This is for me!"  As a fiber arts major I was fascinated with the yurts that the nomadic people of Tuva use as dwellings.  In fact, the original word for "nomad" comes from the word "felt", making nomads the "felt people".**   I was determined to learn the ancient techniques for felting the wool that covers the wooden frame of these portable dwellings.

Creating felt of this size turned out to be a daunting task.  First there was the shearing of the sheep, using shears that had been passed down from generation to generation.  Then hours spent beating the wool with long sticks.  Grueling work!  And the smell... oh, the fetid smell of wet wool!  It was enough to make me seriously reconsider my desire to become a fiber artist.  My right hand still bears the mark from where my skin split after beating the wool for hours.  The lanolin from the wool helped soothe my aching hands, but that one scar remains... that lasting impression of my time in Tuva.

But when at long last we were done, we had enough felt to cover the entire dwelling!  The felt was so dense that it kept out both rain and snow.  What a sense of accomplishment!  I've never known anything like it since.

Tuva is both desolate and enchanting.  The people of this obscure region of the world are known for the unusual and unique music they create:  throat singing.  At first I didn't believe these sounds could possibly be created by a human being.  There is no other sound like it.  To hear the strains of the throat singers against the backdrop of the mountains is haunting, to say the very least.

To this day, all I have to do is close my eyes and put on my CD of the Throat Singers of Tuva and I am transported back in time.  I can almost smell the felt of the yurt that was so painstakingly created by my hands.  Someday I hope to return to Tuva.  Someday I hope to once again sleep under the felt.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tuva is a real place. Ralph Leighton wrote a book about physicist Richard Feynman's attempt to travel to Tuva.  (Available from Amazon.)

*Note:  This post is totally fictional.  I've never been to Tuva, nor am I a fiber artist, but I have heard the Throat Singers of Tuva in concert and their music is indeed haunting.

**Quote about origin of the word nomad and photos taken from

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I Love You, Taco Bell...

Years of Dr Pepper excess have created a situation in which the CatLady finds herself just a tad bit overweight... plump... dare I say... rotund?  

But never fear!  It's Taco Bell to the rescue!

Yes, Taco Bell now has it's own diet plan.... and it's so quick and easy!  It's called


Heart be still!  (You bet it will be, what with all the extra cholesterol and grease.)

Now we're talkin'!

And just look at all the options they have....

The cheese, the sour cream, the beef, the beans, the taco chips!  (All I need to make the meal complete is a shit load of Bean-O.)

No more SlimFast drinks that taste like chalk.  No more Weight Watchers meetings!  No more exercise bike! 

All I have to do is drive to Taco Bell and pick up my delicious diet food.

I believe!  I believe!  Praise Jesus!  I believe!


I'll let you know how that works out...

Monday, January 25, 2010

Meaningful Monday: Pearl, Why You Little...

Remember the kid who had to sit next to the teacher's desk to keep out of trouble?  In the blogosphere, that kid is Pearl.  After hearing the phrase Pearl, Why You Little... so frequently as a child, it became the natural choice for her blog title.

Sassy, isn't she?

Pearl hails from Minneapolis and regales us regularly with tales of her daily commutes with the Metropolitan Transit Commission,  her cats Liza Bean Bitey (of the Minneapolis Biteys) and Dolly Gee Squeakers (formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers),  chili contests, the local bar scene (gotta respect a woman who loves her beer), neighbors stranger than herself and her family, and now... Chore Monkeys!   To top it all off, she gives us scenic tours of Northeast Minneapolis and shares her ipod playlist for our listening pleasure.

Do bloggers get any more BadAss than Pearl?  I think not!  So Pearl, this cat's for you!

Thanks for making my Mondays more meaningful!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

I'll Have What She's Having....

Remember Meg Ryan's fake orgasm in When Harry Met Sally?  

This story posted on Yahoo News must top that:

Woman risks jail for noisy sex

Friday, January 22 04:37 pm
Caroline Cartwright has been given an eight-week prison term suspended for 12 months -- meaning if she engages in over-noisy coupling again in the next year she will immediately be jailed.
"I've heard a very short extract of the noise you make and can well see that your neighbours would be upset and distressed by this," said judge Beatrice Bolton at Newcastle Crown Court.
Cartwright was served with a civil order over marathon romps with husband Steve, described in court as "unnatural" and "like they are both in considerable pain."
Neighbours at their home in Washington, south of Newcastle, had complained about the noise -- as did passers-by and the neighbourhood letter carrier.
Cartwright was served with an anti-social behaviour order, but admitted at a previous hearing to having violated it almost immediately, and repeatedly, last April.
At an earlier hearing the court was told that the local council set up special equipment in a neighbour's flat and recorded noise levels of 30-40 decibels, peaking at 47 -- as loud as a conversation in the same room.
Cartwright told the court she had tried to restrain herself.
"I did not understand why people asked me to be quiet because to me it is normal," she said, adding: "I have tried to minimise the situation by having sex in the morning - not at night - so the noise was not waking anybody.
"I may be sympathetic to it, but it is not something I am doing on purpose."

 Some women have all the luck!   

Now, if only I could use that for my "Let's Go to Prison" retirement plan

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Perils of Teaching

It's been a busy week with the four-year-olds at preschool.  I firmly believe the full moon has something to do with it.  But the life of a teacher is never dull...  I'll give it that.

Earlier this week I got together with some of my friends from my previous school and we were reminiscing about some of our finer moments there.  

One of the classics remains the time little Ivan decided he had to pee during pick-up time outside.  In true five-year-old fashion, he dropped his drawers and began peeing on a tree.  Not wanting to make a big deal out of it, our aide approached him to tell him quietly that it's not proper etiquette to pee in public, thank you very much.

Yeah, you know what's coming....

Little Ivan turned around at the sound of her voice... and peed all over her. 

Thank god it wasn't my turn to do pick-up duty!  Some days you just get lucky!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Bread: Theme Thursday

This week's Theme Thursday topic is "Bread".   There's a great group of writers participating in Theme Thursday each week so be sure to go check them out. You'll be glad you did!  In the meantime, here's my humble offering.

I grew up in the 1950's in rural Iowa.   It was a great place to be a kid.  My mom would send us out to play in the morning and we'd roam all over kingdom come until we were called in to eat.  Meals back then included plenty of home cooking... heavy on the meat and potatoes, with vegetables from the garden.  And every meal included bread and butter.  For those who didn't do their own baking, Wonder Bread was all the rage.

Our closest neighbor to the east was Old George, an elderly bachelor who kept pigs.  My brother Waldo (the archer) and I used to visit George to look in on the new piglets when the sows gave birth.  Our favorite we named "Half-Pint".  We'd wander over regularly to watch Half-Pint wallow in the mud and totter on his tiny feet.   Old George knew how much we enjoyed watching him and even let us feed him.

Being thrifty, Old George would make a weekly trip into town, where he'd load up the back seat of his car with prime pickings from the Wonder day-old bread store to feed to the pigs.  He told us we were always welcome to get a loaf out of the car to feed to Half-Pint.  So we made it a regular habit for awhile... at least until Half-Pint outgrew his cuteness.  Then one day we hit the mother load... there in the back seat of Old George's car was something we coveted.  It was a package of "brown and serve" rolls.

We had "brown and serve" rolls at our grandma's house once before and we thought they were the ultimate in fine eating.  Waldo and I looked at the package of rolls, looked at each other and nodded our heads. Oh, yeah!  Score!  We took off down the road with the "brown and serve" rolls, proudly offering them up to our mother to brown and serve to us for dinner that night.

But what was this?  It didn't make her happy that we were bringing home the proverbial bacon?  Why on earth was she so upset with us?  After all, Old George said we could get any of the bread we wanted out of the car to feed to the pigs.  Why would he care if we ate the bread instead?

Mom may have been embarrassed and humiliated by our desire to eat stale bread designated for swine, but we were in hog heaven!   Pig food rocks!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Meaningful Monday: The Surly Writer

There's an awesome writer out there who's fairly new to the blogosphere and she's taken the place by storm.  It's none other than that mistress of words, Michelle Hickman, also known as The Surly Writer

She calls herself Surly, but her sensitivity and thoughtfulness shine through.  Michelle stories are engaging, well crafted and thought provoking. Right now she's in the midst of a move and switching jobs, so she's sure to have a lot to write about in the coming weeks!  I highly recommend that if you don't already know Michelle you make her acquaintance. 

Michelle makes not just Mondays, but every day of the week meaningful.  So, Michelle, this cat's for you:

It would definitely make a statement if you put it on your desk at the new job!  Enjoy it in good health!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

What's This?

What's this?  Why it's a pretty from KaLynn... that mistress of Kackles!

Seems KaLynn thought I'd appreciate this and she was right!    Miracles to happen every day when you have friends like KaLynn.  And to whom would I like to pass it?  Why to Ms. Eolist Petite, that's who!  Because she deserves miracles too!

Speaking of KaLynn... she's also the one who pointed me in the direction of Diamonds and Toads, who in turn led me to the Fairy Name Generator.   Just for fun I plugged in my name and here's what it gave me:

Your fairy is called Fidget Goblinshimmer
She is a bringer of riches and wealth.
She lives in rotting woodlands near poisonous toadstools.
She is only seen when the first flowers begin to blossom.
She wears red with white spots, like the toadstools. She has gentle green wings like a butterfly.

(Get your free fairy name here!)

Fidget, eh?  Sounds about right.  I like to fidget... a lot!  Shimmering I don't know about, but Goblins seem to follow me around.  I think they're the ones who pushed me down the stairs a while back.

Anyway, go visit KaLynn.  She's feeling a little down at the moment because she just lost her beloved Lady Bug.   But trust me, she'll soon be up and Kacklin' with the best of them.  Go give her some love!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

WTF is that on the Surface? : Theme Thursday

This week's Theme Thursday topic is "Surface".   There's a great group of writers participating each week so be sure to go check them out. You'll be glad you did!  In the meantime, here's my offering.

At first I couldn't think of a damn thing to write about this theme, but then I remembered a piece I wrote about six months ago.  If it's not considered too tacky, I'm going to re-post this little ditty about a few items that are now decorating...

The Surface of the Moon!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

And I Thought I Was a Slob...

Today on Twitter, Rachel Maddow posted a link to a site that lists all the crap that's been left on the surface of the moon by NASA. And I thought I was a slob!

Check it out:

I mean, really! I can see them leaving an American flag on the moon... just to prove to detractors and conspiracy theorists that man really did land on the moon. I may be a slob, but even I know you're not supposed to leave your junk around when you visit somebody else's house.

Anyway, here are some of the things that got left behind...

  • Number 18 on the list is "scongs". WTF is a scong? (If anyone can tell me, I'll personally give you credit in my next blog posting.)***
  • Number 33: Defecation collection device. Talk about a worthless piece of shit!
  • Number 50: Urine collection assembly, small (2)
  • Number 51: Urine collection assembly, large (2) Okaaay! So which one would you request, large or small? Is it better to get two small collection bags or one big one? How are they allocated... by how you frame your request? Which of these people do you think would get the large collection assembly:
"Excuse me, but I believe I have to urinate.
Would you be so kind as to direct me to the water closet?"
"Holy Shit! Do I ever have to take a piss! Where's the head?"
  • Number 60: Central Station As in Grand Central Station? No wonder people are wandering around NYC looking lost all the time.
  • Number 64: Gnomon (includes mount) Is this like a little statue of a gnome riding a horse?
  • Number 78: Footprint Just one? Sure looks like a lot more in the photo below... but maybe that's just part of the whole conspiracy! Besides, can a footprint even be considered something you "left"? I'm thinking a list of things that were left should include actual objects.
  • Number 81: Plastic covering for Flag (1) So, does it rain on the moon? Did they leave the covering on the flag, or is it just lying there, waiting for someone to come back and use it to protect the stars & stripes forever?

What I really want to know is...

What would Neil Armstrong's mother
say about all this? 
She obviously didn't bring him up very well!

(BTW... I distinctly remember staying up really late, into the wee hours of the morning, to watch the moon landing on television. The astronauts were late... very late. Just like everyone usually is to an appointment watched by millions.)
***Additional note:  The great Madame DeFarge solved the mystery of the scong... with a little help from M. DeFarge.  To find out what it is, you'll have to backtrack to this post by clicking on the link above.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Meaningful Monday: Indigo & iDifficult

I know Mondays are hard for a lot of people.... you know, what with going back to work after the weekend and all.  It would be nice if there was something to make Mondays more meaningful.

So, from now on, every Monday I'm going to give out my BadAss award to at least one writer who has added meaning to my life...  who has given me a reason to get up in the morning...  who has restored my will to live... who has given me some LOLZ, or even better yet, made me THINK! 

This week, my BadAss
award is going out to that
dynamic duo, IndigoWrath and iDifficult.
These two British gentlemen have taken me on many adventures with them as they search the universe for the perfect curry.  Go check them out and they will take you to such exotic places as Slobbering-under-the-Bed or Paralytic-in-the-Wardrobe.  The Euthanasia Curry House will undoubtedly be on the tour and there may even be invisible zebras, bears or badgers along the way.

So, my dear chaps... this award's for you...

Hope it makes your Monday more meaningful!


P.S. And while we're at it... let's also send these gems along to The Friggin Loon and to Gayle over at Gramme's Blog, who've been my top BadAss Sassers this week!  Frigginloon's been keeping us up to date on the latest news for some time now and Gayle's fairly new to the blogosphere, so go over and give them some love!

Wow!  Four BadAsses in one day!  

Saturday, January 9, 2010

"So... They Toss the Place About a Bit?"

I've always been a bit of a clutter hound.  It hasn't gotten bad enough yet to win me a guest appearance on "Hoarders" but some days I look around and think that day won't be far off.   It's one of my signature cat lady characteristics.  (Minus the cats, of course.)

My house has looked this way, pretty much since we moved in.  In fact, shortly after we bought the house, we had a break-in while we were at work.  The thieves only stole some spare change out of the bedside stand.  I think they were probably having a hard time finding anything else of value in all the clutter.  Living with clutter is a great way to stymie thieves.   

 (Sorry Blair whoever you are... this picture was just too perfect... I had to use it.)

Anyway, the police came and looked around the house to file their report.  At one point, one of the officers looked back and forth and said, "So... they toss the place about a bit?"

Uh... yeaaahhhh...  THAT's what happened!  We would never leave our home this messy otherwise!  Geesh!  You'd think that would be a wake up call!   But, no.  We were undeterred in our quest for clutter supremacy.

Now, I chose my spouse precisely because he came from a home where clutter was king.  Let's just say his father was a bit "eccentric" and collected stuff.  He had his own set up for collecting, including a step stool stored in the trunk of his car, a trouble light, and some of those extending grabber things to extract stuff from dumpsters.  (I think he may have been the original dumpster diver.)

You name it, they had it... from old grocery store display racks, to a dentist's chair, to the entire phone system that was discarded from a local hospital.  They even built a warehouse out behind their house to store all the stuff that overflowed the house.  At one point, my in out-laws didn't sleep in their bed for four years because there wasn't enough room to get to it.  Seriously!  My father-out-law, bless his heart, has slept in a recliner for the past 25 years!

Later on, my spouse had some sort of a religious awakening or something and suddenly became a neat freak... on his own side of the room.  Suddenly, I was the sole cause of the chaos.  (He's also the one who turned me on to Dr Pepper and then later chastised me for becoming a Pepper fiend.)  From that day on, our marriage was doomed.  Well, that and a few other things led to its demise. 

But, you know... it did my heart some good when my son came home giggling the other day because he noticed his dad's new wife throws her crap all over on her side of the bed.  Poetic justice at its finest!

(Oh, yeah... they're keeping a special place for me in hell!)

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Polka Dots: Theme Thursday

Don't you just hate certain songs?   When I was growing up, there was a singing duo named "Paul and Paula" who came out with a song called, "Hey, Paula."

For years I hated that song because it totally embarrassed me.  Why?  Guess what my first name is?  Yeah... made famous by that song.  When you're in the 4th grade, this is totally humiliating! 

Then there was this ditty..

In the seventh grade I had my first two piece swimming suit.  We're not talking bikini here, but a fairly modest, high-neck top with ruffles to make up for the fact that I had no boobs and shorts-type pants.  Unfortunately, it was yellow with white polka dots.  And of course the first time I wore it, my mother started singing a certain song.  Yep... what I thought was going to look really awesome was now a total embarrassment.  Talk about being afraid to come out of the water...

I've been self-conscious in a bathing suit ever since!

Monday, January 4, 2010

The Envelope, Please...

Last summer, Nanodance over at Callithump Thunderblog and I got together and came up with a couple of blog awards.  We had a whole cat theme going after Nanodance started writing about her son Elwood rubbing cats the wrong way.  The result... The BadAss Blogger Award. 

Nanodance chose her own cat picture to distinguish hers from mine.  Neither of us got around to actually awarding any, though.

Now that Net Nanny has labeled me as a BadAss, it seemed like a perfect time to finally bestow the award on a deserving blogger or two.  But, my dilemma was, which ones?  There are just so many BadAss bloggers out there who merit a CatLady award.  

But, you've gotta start somewhere....  I started looking through my blog roll, thinking I'd have to write all the names on a piece of paper and draw one or two out of a hat.

Then I noticed this on my sidebar: 

I love people who talk back! Top badass sassers in the last 100 comments:

  1. ReformingGeek (4)
  2. otin (4)
  3. Jayne Martin (4)
  4. Quirkyloon (4)
The top four people listed were some of the most BadAss bloggers I know. And people who make me laugh every time I log onto their sites.  

So to you, my four bloggy friends, I bestow the inaugural CatLady's BadAss Blogger Award.  No strings attached.  Take it, post it, ignore it, or whatever.  Just know that I think you rock! 

You're such BadAsses!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

BAD CatLady! BAD! or Banned by Net Nanny!

I received a thoughtful email yesterday from Oh My Goddess, informing me that she couldn't post comments on my blog because of a Net Nanny glitch. Guess I've been branded unfit for young readers. But, WTF... I wasn't exactly writing for young audiences.

Seems those dastardly bitches prim and proper ladies over at Net Nanny block people from being able to comment on blogs with unseemly content. Oh, yeah... that's me. Totally unseemly! I'm such a badass! Happily, the Goddess told me how I could circumvent Net Nanny and escape detection... simply use a pop-up instead of an imbedded comment configuration. Now I'll probably be getting lots of fun comments from her children, as well. Welcome, Oh My Godlets!

And just to make Jayne over at InJaynesWorld happy, I disabled the word verification feature while I was at it.  Jayne really hates those... she thinks they suck!  So, see there, Net Nanny... I really am a nice person because I like to make my friends happy.  So why are you hatin' on me?

Actually, it is an honor to have Net Nanny be hatin' on me.  That means I'm not quite the wuss I used to be.  In fact it makes me so proud, I've even developed a blog award* for other BadAss Bloggers who act in an unseemly manner:  

Now... to whom shall I give the award?  Tune in tomorrow to find out.

Hint:  It won't be going to Net Nanny.

*Thanks to Nanodance, (who came up with the idea for the award,) and to Moooooog for introducing me to motivational posters. Watch for Nanodance's companion BadAss Blogger award. 

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Outed by Otin

I was literally tickled pink yesterday when I discovered our blogger buddy, Otin, had written a treatise on what it actually means to be a cat lady without any cats.

The Wizard of Otin, that master weaver of strange tales about things that go bump in the night, was intrigued by the concept of a cat lady without cats. And so he offered an explanation for this strange phenomenon.

According to Otin, the CatLady is not actually a lady at all, but a feline who used to be a lady. A feline who obviously must hate herself because she hates cats. She has a spouse, (named Brad,) who hates her because he thinks she blew him off and left him. Unbeknownst to him, he is now her sole caretaker in her feline form. Now, there's a recipe for disaster. I'm going to have to sharpen my claws and get out the passive-aggressive rule-book.

Here is my new persona... tickled pink and all:

All I can say is...Brad sure as hell better watch out! Cat Larew is coming and that bitch is pissed! If that isn't Dr Pepper in her saucer, his ass is grass!

But, don't take it from me... click on Otin's link below to read this and other marvelously eerie tales of mystery.

Otin's Button

Thanks, Otin! I heart you!

Friday, January 1, 2010

All You Need is LOVE! And HOPE!

To welcome the New Year, let me join Robert Indiana in wishing you a year of


Have a wonderful 2010 and thanks for all the love and hope you gave me in 2009!

But nobody says it better than the Fab Four...

Hugs to all of you,
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