You're Looking Fabulous, Dahling!

This week Happy Hour Friday is a "two-fer."
In addition to my regular post I'm includig a Pay it Forward Post.
Please be sure to read both and pass it on! Thanks! You'll be glad you did!

A while back I got this fortune in my fortune cookie widget:

Happy events will take place shortly in your home.

(Did you hear that, Otin? Perfect for Happy Hour Friday!)

Now, I'm too old for any "blessed events," so what could this mean? Then the answer came to me...

It was an award from Phillipia! She was the first person to follow my blog who didn't actually know me and owe me a favor. (Hah! Fooled her!) And after all this time not only has she remained a follower, she thinks I'm fabulous! What a happy day! I'm overflowing with joy at the moment because my fortune came true! Now I truly believe in the fortune cookie widget.

As with many bloggy awards, there are rules and regulations attached. To wit: I have to list 5 of my obsessions. (Being somewhat OC, it should be easy to come up with something.) And I have to pass it forward to 5 more fabulous bloggers (who don't already have this accolade.)

So, as to the obsessions:

1. I have to do a crossword puzzle before going to sleep at night. OCD! OCD! *points finger* I used to read in bed but had to give that up after years of staying up all night reading... just one more paragraph... just one more page... just one more chapter... just have to finish the book. *yawn*

2. Blankets... I love blankets! From the time I was a baby I've loved blankets. I have them all over my house and like nothing more than to curl up with one while I'm reading a book, watching TV or blogging. (At the moment I'm wrapped up in one of my favorite fleece blankets.) In fact, I love them so much I knit blankets for special people for special occasions. Vlad, who is 6'6" tall, loves that I custom knit his blankets so his feet aren't sticking out the bottom all the time.

3. I must have comfy clothes. Soft, well-worn, loose clothing is integral to my happiness. I can't wear new clothes until all the tags have been ripped out and until they have been thoroughly washed to remove any lingering dyes or chemicals. I rarely wear "girl clothes" unless absolutely necessary. (Like, say for job interviews.) So yes... I definitely dress like a cat lady. Important note: Comfy clothes should never be ironed.

4. My drug of choice is Dr. Pepper. While I talk a good line about drinking mass quantities of liquor, my true obsession is Dr. Pepper. And not that diet kind that Quirky likes. *icky face* I need pure, unadulterated Dr. Pepper. In other words, if I'm going to sin, I'm going to sin boldly!

5. I'm obsessed with teaching. Although I'm currently "between jobs," when I am working I put my heart and soul into it. I love transforming my room with the kids into a magical world that reflects whatever topic we're studying. I don't do anything half-way when I'm teaching. Which is why I'm a Connoisseur of Crap and why my house is a jumble of artifacts, books, costumes, etc. My obsession is also the reason why I decided to bag the Director's job to go back into the classroom.

So, now that I've completed the obsessions requirement, allow me to acquaint you with the award:

(This looks just like Hickory the Wonder Dog and me as we go for our morning constitutional.)

Now for the 5 bloggers who are even more fabulous:

Trodo: in memory of Sam

Skye: whose granola will soon become an obsession for bloggers everywhere

Nanodance: with whom I've spent many happy ours obsessing about things

Pearl: whose blog has become one of my daily obsessions

The Peach Tart: who has become a role model as well as a daily "must read"

Now go check out these fabulous women! And don't forget to say "Hey!" to Phillipia, who looks fabulous in her Carmen Miranda habit.

Fortune Cookie Friday #3 : Don't Mess With Me!

I had great intentions of posting some stuff for Fortune Cookie Friday this week. But then I went over to Nanodance's house to do some blogging with her and she got me distracted by her "comment bombing" mania. She really got out of control... she made me laugh so hard that I started coughing and couldn't stop. I hate when that happens. Then I complained that my computer was being slow, so Nanodance suggested I disable my cookies and she even showed me how to do it and then all of a sudden I started getting all these emails... 562 to be precise. So I spent the next hour going through my emails from the past 2 years, identifying and deleting all the ones that mysteriously got re-sent, which I resented.

Before you know it, we'd gone through a whole bottle of wine and then Vlad was calling me on my cell phone asking what was for dinner and could I stop and bring him something on the way home. I had to mainline a Dr. Pepper so I'd be fit to drive. What a night! Do we know how to have a good time on a Friday night, or what? ("Or what" is the appropriate answer here.) At least since I had such a good time, that can count for Happy Hour Friday!

Anyway, here it is Saturday and I'm now a day behind. No worries, though. As they say, better late than never.


So, one of the fortunes that popped up recently on my fortune cookie widget was:

"You are never bitter, deceptive or petty."

Could've fooled me! You have no idea. I look like a kind, generous, loving person on the outside. But on the inside? Funny thing about those of us who are door mats... while we're busy letting people walk all over us, we are actually building up a whole lot of anger and resentment on the inside. It's like magma churning below the surface of the earth until it finally starts bubbling up and creating pressure. Woe betide the person who gets near us when that all boils over. All of a sudden we explode, pulling the rug out from under all the people who've been walking all over us...

Bitch attack!

Not a pretty sight! Kinda like Detective Mittens when he keeps getting the wrong order from the take out restaurant. You just don't want to be around us when that happens! So, I'm warning you! STAY AWAY!

Stupid fortune cookie!

Fortune Cookie Friday #2

Funny that Otin should start Happy Hour Friday just when I get the idea to do Fortune Cookie Friday.  I guess great minds think alike.  So, what I might do is alternate between the two... or if I feel particularly inspired... and bored... I'll do both.  I make no promises to anyone!  Ever!  In fact, maybe I won't do either one some Fridays.  (Like if I ever get a real, paying job and don't have as much time to blog anymore.)  You'll just have to wait and see!

But this week I'm still unemployed and bored, so you get both.

My favorite fortune this week is...

A good rest is half the work.

I like that one so much, it's become my job hunting mantra.  Must rest and contemplate the nature of the universe so that I will instinctively know when the right time is to venture out into the working world.  Of course, with all the time I'm spending resting it leaves little time for job hunting.  

But that's my fortune... my karma... my path toward cosmic consciousness.  I must follow what the fortune cookie says!

Must be time for another nap.

Fortune Cookie Friday + Happy Hour Friday = Perfection!

Wouldn't you know, I wrote the post below and then went over to Otin's blog and noticed he was doing Happy Hour Friday, which coincided perfectly with what I had written... so I decided to link the two, which makes me happy!


Okay, so it's Friday and I clicked on my fortune cookie widget, which provided me the following words of "wisdom":

Remember, being happy is not always being perfect.

Hell, if that's true, I should be ecstatic. I should be gleefully floating on air. I should be dancing on happy feet. I should be cavorting in the meadow with Hickory the Wonder Dog.

Because I'm never perfect! I mean never! Really, I'm serious! I know you must find that hard to believe. But, the good news is... that means there's hope for happiness at the CatLady's house.

In a perfect world I would stay happy forever, but now I'm worried that the truth is exactly as the fortune says. If everything was perfect, would I know that I was happy? Would happiness be diluted if I was never UN-happy? Oh, no! WTF? This is beginning to sound like an exercise in Zen philosophy... ack!

My problem right now is that I actually am very happy. I'm happy not going to work. I'm happy reading blogs all day long. I'm happy drinking gallons of coffee in the morning and mainlining Dr. Pepper in the afternoon. I'm happy watching Dexter and other mindless drivel on DVD. I'm happy playing Apples to Apples and other games. I'm happy hanging out and drinking wine with Nanodance and my other friends. I'm happy having pajama day every day.

Sooner or later, though, I'm going to have to go out and seek gainful employment, which means there will be hassles and stupid people to deal with and long hours and waking up at night worrying about some project that's gone wrong. And then I won't be happy anymore. I can't help myself. Because I'm so disorganized, I have to over-compensate by being uber organized at work, which means I have to keep up the facade of being a competent person, which is so very exhausting.

Plus, I really hate perfect people. I hate people who have perfect hair and perfect children and perfect spouses and perfect houses and perfect pets and perfect jobs. They're just so annoying! It's like Lance & Melanie. We used to get Christmas letters from these distant relatives, whose kids were always perfect. They used up two pages of paper, telling us all about the awards and good grades and perfect teeth and perfectly polite manners of these perfect children. It got to be that at our house the names Lance & Melanie were synonymous with obnoxious prigs. (And since Lance & Melanie are so perfect, they would never condescend to read a blog like this, so I think I'm relatively safe from slander suits.)

So, why do we spend so much time and energy trying to pretend we're perfect, when perfect people are such obnoxious prigs? Happily, the answer is, I don't try to be perfect anymore. And none of my friends do either. Which is why I like my friends so much. And why I like my cyber-bloggy-friends so much. Because we're rude and irreverent and obnoxious and fun! That makes me happy... and happily less than perfect. Which means I'm probably going to hell, but that's okay. I'll have lots of friends there.