Sunday, September 6, 2009

A Funny Thing Happened on My Way to Get More Coffee...

Speaking of funny things... Lynn over at Funny Girl Goes Blog sent me a little present this week.

Seems I tickle her funny bone every once in while... either that or she just wants to get some good dirt on me. You see, she divulged some really good dirt about herself and now she wants me to do the same.

If I share my honest, innermost secrets with all of you, I get to have the Honest Scrap Award that Chrissy over at I Shoulda Been a Stripper passed on to Lynn.

But wait! Maybe "Honest Scrap" refers to all the scrap crap I have laying around the house. Maybe Funny Girl is really coveting some of my Connoisseur's Crap and wants me to share some of that! I could probably come up with more of that to share than I could secret dirt.

What do you think? Here are the rules for the award:

1. “The Honest Scrap” award is not one to hold all to your self but it must be shared!
(I can do that... I'm good at sharing.)

2. The recipient has to tell 10 true things about themselves in their blog that no one else knows.
(Do they really have to be true? It would be much more interesting if I made something up.)

3. The recipient has to pass along this prestigious award to 10 more bloggers.
(Oh, yeah! I love giving presents!)

4. Those 10 bloggers all have to be notified they have been given this award.
(If they're still speaking to me after I share my 10 secrets, I guess they'll find out.)

5. Those 10 bloggers should link back to the blog that awarded them.
(Which means MY responsibility is to link back to Funny Girl... done and done.)

If I do all those things, I get to have this....

So, now for the honest crap/truth about me.... (Please be sure to read to the end... they start out kinda slow, but I build to a great finish, if I do say so myself.)

1. I broke my first bone when I was 42... playing on the playground at school... klutz!

2. I'm totally uncoordinated. (Hence #1.) I'm not sure that counts as a secret, though.

3. Speaking of uncoordinated, I once got a fishhook stuck in my finger, which had to be pushed all the way through! Ouch! Gross! The worst part was that I did it while I was putting a worm on the hook, so both the worm and I were impaled together. (Seriously #2)

4. I know how to walk on stilts... my dad made us some when we were kids and we used to walk all over the neighborhood on them. (Despite #2.)

5. I have a scar under my nose that makes me look like my nose is running... constantly. (Thanks, mom & dad, for not asking for a plastic surgeon.) The result of falling face first into a gravel road while I was learning how to ride a bike... (Again, refer to #2.)

6. My early years were spent in rural Iowa, where my dad was a minister... my siblings and I played "baby Jesus" with the manger and shepherd's crooks that were stored in our barn. (Which could have been the precursor to developing a somewhat irreverent attitude toward formal religion later in life... sorry if that offends anyone's delicate sensibilities... I know, I'm definitely going to hell.)

7. I've been in jail... twice! (If you want more details on these youthful indiscretions, you'll have to become a CatLady follower.) Shocked? You should be!

8. Despite having been in jail, I've never had a traffic ticket in 40 years of driving... not even a parking ticket. (Which means I've probably just jinxed myself by telling you that and will now get several tickets in the next week.)

9. Chrissy will be interested to know that I really was a stripper (of sorts) in high school. My stage name was Boom-Boom Larew and I performed with my future (now ex) sister-in-law, Patti-Poo-Foo. We were pom pom girls together and during halftime at football games, the band would play "The Stripper" and Miss Poo-Foo and I would dance to the music, tossing out our pom poms, hats, gloves and vests to the crowd. (Hey, Phillipia... want me to perform at one of the G-man's games?)

10. I used to make regular stops at the morgue following Sunday dinner. (Again, if you want to find out more, you'll just have to become a follower! Aren't you intrigued?)

Were those secret enough?

Now, on to people I really need to get some dirt on:

1. Miss Stinglash... it's no secret she's responsible for the birth of my blog, so I share every scrap of crap I own with her.

2. IndigoWrath... because he's a man of mystery and probably has lots of good secrets.

3. Jewel at The Raconteur's Apprentice... because I want to compare what I think I know about her with what's really true.

4. Eolist Petite... because there's no way she's a pompous, windy bore.

5. Mr. London Street... because he's surely picked up a lot of good dirt while street walking.

6. Maelstrom... because he shops at Wegman's and I think there really is something to see there.

7. That chick who's Happy to Be From Iowa... because she's my newest fellow expat friend.

8. Summer... because her life's a real circus, so she must have some good dirt to share.

9. Madame DeFarge... again, because I'm just nosy and want to learn more about her.

10. Flubtastic Doofalo... beacuse I'm afraid if I don't share with him he might send somebody to sneak up behind me with a scary needle.

So.... That should give you all some interesting new bloggers to check out and satisfy the requirements for the Honest Scrap Award.

Thanks, Funny Girl!

And happy reading!


otin said...

Is there any place that you have not injured yourself? LOL!!!

IndigoWrath said...

Hi CatLady!

Thanks for the award. I'm just waiting to be officially notified so you meet criteria 4 and it's all above board...

But ten things that are secrets? I guess that'll still leave a gazillion more.


CatLadyLarew said...

Otin... I have a few spots left. I also bruise easily so I always look like I've been in a fight, when really I just bump into things alot.

Indy... You caught me out! I'll notify you immediately! I want to learn your secrets!

Skye said...

Those are awesome! My guess is you danced to "Patricia the Strippa" now that I can totally But you do say that you danced to "The Stripper", so, who sang that anyway?

By the way, congrats to all the recipients!

CatLadyLarew said...

Hi Skye! The Stripper is a composition by David Rose... popular in the 60's & 70's. No singing... all instrumental. (I know... I looked it up on Wikipedia so it must be true!)

Anonymous said...

I just emailed Keith. He and Mr. Wiggles should start stalking you any day now, big needle and all.

Maelstrom said...

I've already given away a few secrets previously, if you learn too much I may no longer be able to fight crime and still have my family protected. I'll post in response to this later this week!

Mnmom said...

Oh My Thank you!! I'll get on this soon, but not real soon as I start a new job tomorrow, so blogs will probably slow down just a bit.

I grew up in NE Iowa. How about you?

CatLadyLarew said...

Doofalo... Oh no! Not Keith & Mr. Wiggles... I'll have to start looking over my shoulder!

Maelstrom... We could always put you in witness protection.

Mnmom... Good luck with the new job and the move. (BTW, I was born in Cedar Rapids, moved to Des Moines when I was 8 and graduated from the University of Iowa before coming east.)

Phillipia said...

Hi Cat Lady...
I would love you to strip for G-Man's game - next one is this Friday; but I think a private school would appreciate it more - We are at University school next week - I am counting on you:)

Congrats on the award - it is much deserved; I loved reading about your secrets.

Now I need to email the coach and let him know that the band can stay home next Thursday - we have BOOM-BOOM Larew scheduled for the half-time show:) The band is gonna love me...

CatLadyLarew said...

Phillipia... I'll go try to track down my pom poms!

K a b l o o e y said...

Good for you and thanks for sharing. I feel a compelling need to seal you in bubble wrap; wonder why. (Now you have to admit, that would be fun, especially if you could wiggle a hand free to pop the bubbles along your puffy new edges.) You could be injury free as well as a source of mirth to friends and family. Then again, I'm sure you already are, and I mean that in a "you're funny" sense, not in a "look, Cat Lady went boom" way.

ettarose said...

Thank the heavens my name was not on here! I would have sent you a cat or something. Come see me tomorrow. I have something for you.

nonamedufus said...

Let's see if I've got this right. You were a stripping stilt-walking Jesus-loving law-breaking cadaver-fishing non cat cat-loving klutz. Does that about sum it up? Small wonder you're a humour blogger. ;)

Madame DeFarge said...

Congrats and thanks. Now I have to think of 10 things that I can reveal at no cost! Number 3 just makes me feel queasy. I'm going pale even as I write.

CatLadyLarew said...

K a b l o o e y... I often roll myself up in bubble wrap before leaving home... but I also hear the words "Look, Cat Lady Went Boom!" more frequently that I would wish. (Especially when a particularly graceful fall causes all the bubbles to pop at once.)

ettarose... Goody! Goody! I can hardly wait to see you tomorrow! But, please! No Cats.

dufus... So you don't think I'm going to run out of things to blog about too soon? (You forgot to add "scarred for life" in your recitation of my assets.)

MME DeFarge... #3 made me pretty queasy too... especially as the worm was still wiggling. It stopped after awhile, though.

Hit 40 said...

You have been in jail????

And twice???? WOW!! Oh do tell.

Eric said...

Good work on the Scrap Award.
The morgue!!! Yikes

Anonymous said...

Thank you SO much for visiting me so that I could visit you and yada yada yada. Your blog is as refreshing as My blog! Glad to find someone who thinks like I do.......and as long as you never give me an "award" I'll be here forever.

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

OMG! Your are my clumsy soulmate!

CatLadyLarew said...

Hit 40... two of my parents' proudest moments!

Eric... morgue about that later.

Dana... I promise never to give you an award (if you promise to share some really good dirt anyway... I would find that so refreshing!)

Bird Shit and Baby Caca... wish I had as cool a nickname as either of you... or that I had a twin! Welcome to the clumsy party!

Summer said...

Sorry for my late acceptance speech. I didn't really internet much this week.

But aw shucks-- thanks Punkin! I think you're swell too!!

Unknown Mami said...

For a crazy Cat Lady you are simply fascinating! A stripper on stilts!!!

CatLadyLarew said...

Summer... I forgive you... when your life's a circus, it's hard to keep up with the outside world!

Mami... I have many hidden talents... most are hidden in the clutter of my home.

Meow! said...

Regarding honest crap #6, I certainly hope that you did not have a younger baby-type sibling who was used as a stand-in for Jesus.

CatLadyLarew said...

Meow... Nah, we hogged the manger all for ourselves. Besides, mom wouldn't let us take the baby outside to play... guess she thought we might drop the baby on her head or something. She was no fun at all!

Blogger said...

I have just downloaded iStripper, so I can watch the hottest virtual strippers getting naked on my taskbar.

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