Why Do I Smell Like Kitty Litter and Chicken Shit?

I've been a bit lax in my blog reading this past week and I apologize if I've caused you to feel unloved and neglected. But I have a good reason... I've been up to my elbows in kitty litter and chicken shit. Yes, the Catless CatLady has been off taking care of cats, chickens, dogs, fish, birds and one rooster. And I have the personal aroma to prove it.

You see, twice a year, my dear friend Shamra and her husband go to visit their grandchildren in California and I move into their house for a week to take care of their menagerie. (Apparently a good chicken sitter is hard to find these days.)

It's a relatively simple job and there are many amenities out in the country... like the woods and the pond and the meadow and a well-stocked refrigerator full of Dr. Pepper & beer, and a cozy fireplace and peace and quiet. It's not too taxing to feed the animals and bring in the mail. I can handle that. And I don't even mind picking up the chicken shit in the hen house... also known lovingly as "The Chicken Chalet". The only difficult part is minding the kitty litter.

I don't know what it is about kitty litter... I hate it with a passion. Which is why this cat lady doesn't actually own a cat. Black construction paper kitty cut outs in the windows do me just fine, thank you very much. And I just don't go into the whole nocturnal kitty romp thing. Nocturnal romps of other types are fun, but there's just something about being awakened continuously by the sound of kitty scratchings and collar jingles and a cat trying to eat my hair that I find annoying. Plus, the kitties' antics keep the dogs awake and make them think it's time to go outside to play, so then they nudge me in the face until I get up and let them out. Then I have to stay awake long enough to let them back in. (Worse, they decide to wander off and I have to put on shoes and a sweatshirt and go look for them. Three a.m. is NOT a good time for them to decide to visit the neighbors.) It's a vicious cycle.

But back to the kitty litter... it's not the delightful scent of cat shit, but the floral cover-up scent that they add to the kitty that gags me. And not only that... whenever you scoop out the poop or the cats scratch and toss the litter about, the kitty litter dust permeates the air. I must have a super sensitive sense of smell, because the scent follows me throughout the house. Blech! How do people stand this on a regular basis? Give me good old fashioned dog shit any day. It almost makes me long for "let's take a crap on the living room floor" Jasper.

So, why do I expose myself to kitty litter and chicken shit? Because it's for Shamra, who will always take Hickory the Wonder Dog at a moment's notice and for long periods of time so I can go off on grand and glorious adventures. She adores Hickory, that big slobbering lug of a dog, who drips pond water all over her house and adds his own aroma to the mix. And he feels very much at home there, so I can leave town without guilt. As much as I like to moan and groan about it, I'm still happy to take care of her critters.

Friday night I finally made it home to sleep in my own bed. And it was heavenly! I feel much more rested and alert now. The other bonus to being back in the CatLady's house is that I once again have internet service for my laptop! Out in the country they had no wireless connection to tap into. ACK! As a newly confirmed blogaddict, I was starting to twitch from blog withdrawl. I was driving 50 miles a day just to zoom back into town to post my Halloween stories and then zoom back out to the country before all the animals started messing around and wearing lampshades on their heads.

So that explains why I may have appeared to have gone missing recently. Tune in tomorrow for the photo array of the menagerie... plus some fall color action from my sojourn in the country last week.

Rebranding the Crazy Cat Lady!

Last week the San Francisco Chronicle ran an article entitled Rebranding the Crazy Cat Lady. Apparently, the folks over at Tidy Cats are trying to improve the image of cat owners. Seems that the predominant public perception is that people who have more than one cat are Crazy Cat Ladies. And for some strange reason, people are not happy with that designation. Go figure!

"...heading up multiple cat households is a way of life for millions of Americans who aren't happy about the negative stereotyping."

They went on to say:

"The majority of non-cat owners who responded described people with more than one cat as being a homebody (75%), lonely (69%) or, that old zinger, a "crazy cat lady" (58%). They also described multiple cat owners' homes as smelly (75%), having furniture and bedding covered in cat hair (85%) and being cluttered (66%)."

(Take away the cats and you have me.

Note pajamas & comfortable chair.
The books on the shelves are way too tidy, though.)

But what about this sweet Russian lady:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bp0Q3UJHrkU&feature=related#watch-main-area

Her neighbors don't complain about her at all... at least not very much. And she has 130 cats.

Anyway, they're having a contest to find people with multiple cats who don't fit the stereotype. They want people to write in and tell them how perfectly normal they are and list all the fun 

activities they do with their cats. They want to "redefine what it means to be a (well-adjusted) "cat lady" (or lad)."

That's all fine and good, but what about those of us who don't have cats? Why can't we enter the contest? Don't we have an image to maintain as well? Can't we be well-adjusted, too?

Not everyone was born to have a pristine house and lots of social events to attend on a regular basis. Some of us were meant to be reclusive and untidy, regardless of pet ownership. All I'm asking for is a little patience, understanding and equality here! Because I look like a Crazy Cat Lady doesn't mean I want any actual cats... I'm a dog person. So why can't I enter the contest? It's just not fair!

Or, maybe it's just time to Rebrand the Cat Lady? Stay posted!