Showing posts with label Sanity or lack thereof. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sanity or lack thereof. Show all posts

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Crawling Out of My Hole

Every once in awhile life throws me for a loop.  It's not any one thing, but a series of setbacks that puts me in a hole that becomes difficult to climb out of.

Within a 12 month period, I lost the job that I'd been immersed in for 15 years and that had become my identity, I went through all my savings before finding a new job, I lowered my standard of living so that the first time in 30 years I'm living paycheck to paycheck, I fell down my attic stairs and re-injured my knee, a bunch of stuff in my house started falling apart at the same time, (water coming through your living room ceiling is NOT a good thing,) my mom died and then as the icing on the cake, Hickory the Wonder Dog died. 

Despite all that, I was holding my own until late August.  Then with the approach of a new school year, I was reminded of the cumulative losses of the past year.  I suddenly felt alone and bereft.  It seemed like I lost my identity. Life became overwhelming.

I began isolating myself, managing to go to work but then coming home and sleeping a lot.  I stopped taking care of myself, stopped eating well and let the housework pile up.  I was essentially becoming a zombie.

I knew I'd been wallowing for too long when Jon Stewart came up with his Rally to Restore Sanity.  Sure, I know you're thinking, "Hey, CatLady, it's not always about YOU!", but it felt like a personal invitation to me at just the right time.  Plus, I started getting emails from Quirky and Jayne and Linda, asking where I was.  Finally, a lifeline back to sanity! 

So, this week I went to the grocery store to buy some vegetables instead of junk food, I got a haircut and I started seeing friends again.  I shuffled off to Buffalo to take Vlad to dinner and realized after I got home that I spent the entire day without any knee pain.  Amazing!  So, I must be getting better.  No more wallowing in self-pity... because that really is totally unbecoming.  I guess it's time to crawl out of my hole.
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