Wednesday, September 16, 2009

WTF Wednesday #2: Hooked on Fishing



When I posted those 10 secrets that were required for the Honest Scrap Award, one dealt with having skewered myself with a fish hook.  If that's not a reason to say WTF, I don't know what is.*

It started out simply enough... my brother Waldo and I decided to go fishing at the local park about three blocks from our house.  Not yet devotees of Izaak Walton, we had very simple equipment... a rod and reel, a bamboo pole, some fishing line, a couple of hooks and some worms we dug up in the backyard.

We figured we knew what we were doing.  Waldo even caught a few fish.  I wasn't having any luck... the fish just ate the worms off my hook.  WTF?

At one point during the outing, my bamboo pole was laying on the ground as I squeamishly impaled yet another worm onto the hook.  (I didn't like that part, but Waldo refused to do it for me.)  About the same time, Waldo decided to switch spots and walked around me on the path. Tripping over my bamboo pole, he went flying.  With no spinning reel to let out some slack, the line tightened, forcing the hook, worm and all, into my finger.

WTF is this fish hook doing in my finger?

WTF is it with this worm still wriggling around on the hook?

WTF... I think I'm dying!

Meanwhile, Waldo was yelling at me for leaving my pole around where it could trip him.  WTF? Here I am dying, and he's blaming me for tripping him?  WTF?

Once he realized I had the barb firmly embedded in my finger, Waldo began to feel a little bit sorry for me.  He even had the wherewithal to detach the worm from the hook that was now permanently attached to my anatomy.  Meanwhile, I clung to my finger, cutting off all the circulation so that the worm germs didn't get into my bloodstream.  My life was passing before my eyes... all 9 years of it.  WTF?  To be brought down in my prime by blood poisoning!

I grew even more faint when we got to the doctor's office and learned that the only way to remove the hook was to push it the rest of the way through my finger, cut off the barb and then pull it back out the other way.  WTF?  Even with novocaine, I was convinced I felt everything.  A tetanus shot later and it was all over.

So the next time you're sitting there thinking, "WTF is that fish hook doing in my finger?", here are some instructions for what to do.  I personally like the last part of Step #9.  I mean, WTF... shouldn't a 9-year-old be given a shot of whiskey in that situation?  I think I deserved it!  

Hey!  They forgot to give me the shot of whiskey!  WTF?



Steps

1. Carefully push the hook through your finger, toe, etc. until it pushes through the other side, unless the barb is not in. It hurts, but it's better than ripping it out the way it came.

2. Take a pair of pliers with wire cutters on them, and cut the barb off the hook.

3. Pull what's left of the hook out. This should hurt a little more, but still way better than ripping the hook out.

4. If bleeding is severe, apply pressure to both sides of the wound until the bleeding slows down and apply a bandage.

5. Get a tetanus shot, just in case the hook is rusty.

6. There is an alternate method for removing a fish hook when it is stuck in deep tissue.

7. Take a foot long piece of fishing string and make a loop around the bend of the hook.

8. Hold string in one hand, and push down on the eye of the hook with the other hand.

9. Distract the patient, then yank the string. Pushing down on the eye of the hook keeps the barb from ripping a much larger hole on the way out.  Apply a band aid and a shot of whiskey if needed.


*(Although at the time it happened, I had no idea what the F word was, let alone WTF.  I'm just sayin'.) 

18 comments:

Jen said...

I'm not squeamish but seeing and reading about fish hooks in peoples bodies make me at least want to turn away. I've had it happen to me but usually just yanked it out. Having experienced the pain and seeing my life pass before my eyes I am hesitant to try and encourage a fish to do this to himself, especially if I just plan to throw him back.

subtorp77 said...

Aaaarrrrggghh! I hate it when that happens! Ooh I can't look! Well okay, I can look but 'tisn't pleasant, wot? Oh and that 3rd bloggo o' mine was a tester for a spam-bot, so it'll be coming down...just so's ya know!! Oops!

IndigoWrath said...

Hi CatLady, this thing seems to be having problems. I left a comment the other day which is now AWOL (I forget what it was about, sorry), and the list at the end of your post is still code-y gobbledigook; IFs and SUPPORTLISTS and ENDIFs. I enjoyed the post, mind! Indigo

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

I seriously think I almost passed out reading that.

Jen said...

I think you need to give a good smack to the Flux Capacitor or time has folded back on itself, or something is wrong with blogger. I commented on this post three days before it was posted. How cool is that?

Quirkyloon said...

OUCH!


Did I say, "OUCH?"

Well let me say it again.

OUCH!

CatLadyLarew said...

Hi Jen: I don't fish anymore, perhaps for the same reason! And BTW... I was an overachiever and wrote this post early as I'm off nannying for a few days. Imagine my surprise when it posted early! Since I didn't want everyone saying WTF is she doing posting WTF Wednesday on a Monday, I reconfigured the post date... thus the Flux Capacitor was invented!

subtorp: I thought maybe you were just trying to lure me into joining a whole bunch of bogus blogs! I found a really graphic picture of a fishhook in a finger, but it grossed me out to look at it, so I didn't post it. Let's all say EWWWW together!

Indigo: I had trouble with this post myself. Don't know what was going on. Must be the problem with the Flux Capacitor that Jen mentioned.

BS & BC: Exactly! That's what I did! I almost passed out writing about it... it all came back to me like it was just yesterday!

Quirky: Yes... Ouch! Ouch! Let me say that again one more time for you... OUCH! Talk about a WTF Wednesday!

Midlife Jobhunter said...

"shouldn't a 9-year-old be given a shot of whiskey in that situation?"

Absolutely!

I learned how to fish with a bamboo pole. And I had to put on my own worms, take the fish off, and clean it. Rules if we wanted to fish. Can't tell you now many people I've taught - and every year still have to get used that poor fish in my hands as I pull out the hook. Poor little fishy, I say.

Madame DeFarge said...

Now I just feel queasy. And am reminded about why I never went fishing. Easier to catch them in a shop.

Mnmom said...

At least 3 members of my family have had to do this. But not at the doctor: my dad kept such equipment in his tackle box because BY GOD WE'RE HERE TO FISH AND WE'RE NOT GOING BACK IN!!!!

I would have said the Whiskey was steps 1-3.

Nanodance said...

your gay.

Sorry- that's just the comment I make when I am drunk and comment bombing. What I meant to say. And I am totally sober when I say this:

Astrophysicists are stupid.

Oh yeah. I plan on reading your post real soon.

ettarose said...

I love to fish and will fish anytime, anyplace. I have NEVER (thank the Gods) had a hook in me far enough to have to push through. Now let a catfish fin me and I swell up and the pus runs. I know TMI.

CatLadyLarew said...

Midlife Jobhunter: Yeah... poor fishy and poor me. From now on, the whiskey goes in the tackle box.

MME DeFarge: Which is why we now catch the big ones at the market in Motley on our way to the lake.

Mnmom: BY GOD WE'RE HERE TO DRINK WHISKEY AND WE'RE NOT GOING BACK TO FISH UNTIL WE GET SOME!

Nanodance: Astrophysicists are stupid... we should make them put all the worms on the hooks.

ettarose: It's never TMI at the CatLady's house! We should go fishing together sometime! And I know what you mean about the catfish fins... we used to catch lots of those and they're nasty little creatures. (But we ate them anyway.)

CatLadyLarew said...

Nanodance: Oh, yeah... and we should yank the fish hooks out of their fingers without benefit of whiskey.

frigginloon said...

WTF!

Uncle 2012 said...

Oh my this doesn't look good at all.

Bloody fish hooks, mangled fingers, and booze.

The only thing missing from this tableau is music from a Quentin Tarantino movie, and maybe a nun holding a .38 to my head while I'm tied up in a confessional.

CatLadyLarew said...

Uncle 2012: Great idea! Maybe I could sell the movie rights to Tarantino.

Hit 40 said...

How could I miss your last WTF!!! I am so ashamed of myself. I am finally getting caught up at school.

My dad put a fish hook in his eye by accident (of course) when he was a kid.

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