Save Bacon's bacon!

Yes, I'm afraid it's true.  Someone has taken Bacon hostage and refuses to release him until a ransom is paid.  Won't you please help?

Think about it.  What would your life be like without Bacon?  An LT sandwich just doesn't cut the mustard.  Eggs will die of loneliness.  Social Security will be bankrupted by all the extra seniors living past their expiration date. 

Even the smallest donation... just a mere dollar... can help save Bacon's bacon.  Can't you find a dollar for a friend? 

A Polaroid of Bacon arrived at the Tribal Blogs office just today.  I warn you... it's not a pretty sight.  But I feel I must show it to you to point out the urgency of Bacon's situation.

Horrible, just horrible!  I had to look away the first time I saw it.  Osama Bin Laden's death mask is nothing compared to this!

So I ask you again, won't you help?  Please give generously and give often.   Thank you on behalf of Bacon lovers everywhere!

Where it's AT!

So

Mark Zuckerberg is not the only social network maven out there.  If you're a blogger and you want to be where it's at, come on over and hang with the cool kids at Tribal Blogs.  Jen Brown from Redhead Ranting is the genius behind this group.

Jen has worked tirelessly to make Tribal Blogs an active social network.  (Jen has even configured a swell Tribal Blogs toolbar that you can download for quick and easy access to the site.)  This is the place where you can get blogging tips, share ideas for posts, network, get into some heavy tech talk, engage in some serious discussions and just plain have fun. 

The chat room at Tribal Blogs is a great place to network with bloggers in real time.  In fact, the Tribal Blogs Saturday Night Slumber Party that is a staple of the chat room has become one of my favorite places to be.  It's a wild and crazy barrage of mixed up conversations as multiple fingers fly over the keyboards.  Hilarity abounds, interspersed with periods of thoughtful, compassionate conversation. Sometimes there are even prizes!  Last night at the Slumber Party, Meleah of Momma Mia, Mea Culpa won a free ticket to the Tribal Blogs Conference.  Here's a real time photo of her getting the good news:

Oh, yeah!  Winning!

Jen's latest accomplishment is organizing  Tribal Blogs Conference 2011, to be held June 23-25  in beautiful Minneapolis, Minnesota.  The featured speakers include Jen, Margaret Andrews from Nanny Goats In Panties, Kathy Frederick from The Junk Drawer and Rodney Lacroix (Moooooog) from Mental Poo.

So, if you're looking for a new place to call home, come on over to Tribal Blogs.   Then you'll always have somewhere to be on a Saturday night!

Why Now?

How could this happen?  For five months I sat around watching television every day without any seriously good gossip coming to light.  Sure, I got to watch Bill O'Reilly rile up Whoopi and Joy on The View and I saw Congressman Chris Lee take a Craig's List nose dive right out of Washington.  But those were momentary thrills.   It's only now, the week I return to work, that the proverbial shit really hits the fan...

Yes, Charlie Sheen waited until I was back at work to have a manic melt down that makes Tom Cruise look positively mellow.  Damn you, Charlie!  How am I supposed to get my fanatic fan fix if I'm no longer lolling around all day in my pajamas to watch the story develop?

Seriously, how could you do this to me, Charlie?  Did I not care enough about winning?  Was it because your real life treatment of women was cooling my enthusiasm for Two and a Half Men?  Were my veins sadly lacking in tiger blood?  Was my last girls' night soiree not bitchin' enough for you?  And although I'm not a rock star from Mars, I might be from Venus.  Isn't that close enough for you?  I could be high on Charlie Sheen!  But you won't let me.  No, you rejected my attempts at voyeurism by waiting until I was no longer available to worship at the altar of Charlie Sheen.

But that's okay.  I can cure myself of my disappointment.  I can talk myself down, now that I know your secret of success.  I'll just use the power of thought.  I have an amazing brain that's so powerful it would melt your face off.  Forget those loser 12 step programs!  I'll think about it and make it so!   I'll raise my victory sign to my cheek like I'm holding an imaginary giant stogy from your walk-in humidor and tap my fist to my chest and all will be well.

Two Seconds later...

Hey!  It really worked!  I no longer crave news of Charlie Sheen. 

See this hand motion, Charlie?   

 LOSER! 

At least I still have a job to go to.  

So sorry my life is so much less bitchin’ than yours, Charlie.... I planned it that way.

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Check out Tribal Blogs to see who else is participating in the Charlie Sheen "Rock Star From Mars" Blog Carnival.

The Worst Christmas Present Ever: A Belated Tribal Blogs Carnival

Okay, okay, so I missed the first Tribal Blogs Carnival.

The theme was "The Worst Christmas Gift Ever."  My post is late because I got so depressed from thinking about all those crappy Christmas gifts from years past, I couldn't bring myself to write about it.  (Not really, but I needed an excuse.)

When we were kids, my mom made all our clothes, including new outfits for Christmas.  That's fine when you're a little kid, (loved the flannel jammies,) but as you approach your teens it becomes a source of angst.  We really wanted the store-bought clothes all our friends had.  So one year my mom decided to cut labels out of other clothes to sew into ours to fool our friends.  Uh... yeah.  That's gonna work.  We never fully appreciated our mother's skill as a seamstress, although she really was good at it.  (Sorry, mom, wherever you are!)

But in all fairness, we weren't wizards when it came to buying gifts for our parents, either.  Our allowance just didn't stretch that far...  so my mom said we were only supposed to spend a dollar on each parent.  My dad had a drawer full of all the handkerchiefs we got him... I was always so proud when I managed to score some with an "L" for Larew on them.  Classy!  And mom had a drawer full of really tacky holiday pins that we found on the "Gifts for $1" table at the local department store.

As soon as we were old enough to write, we made "Wish Lists" for ourselves. After awhile, things on the Christmas lists were usually the ONLY gifts we got.  My mom told us if we didn't give her a wish list, we wouldn't get anything.  So the trick became putting enough things on the list so there would still be an element of surprise involved in opening the packages on Christmas morning.  (And we were smart enough to put our lists in numerical order to indicate which things we REALLY wanted, although the ponies never materialized.)  In later years, my mom would put in some actual surprises... gifts she's gathered from her world travels.

Finally, the year came when I didn't make a Christmas list.  (I was in my twenties at the time.) When mom kept pestering me, I just said in frustration, "I can't think of anything, just buy me underwear and some candles."  And my mom was true to her word.  As everyone else opened their gifts, I was the recipient of two items.  Cotton underwear two sizes too big and some candles.  Bummer! 

 

It was many years before I neglected to write out a complete Christmas list again!  But I had plenty of underwear to grow into in years to come.

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Looking for a great gift this season?  How about a goat from Oxfam?  I just bought mine.  Go to https://www.oxfamamericaunwrapped.com to get yours today!  It's much better than underwear!  (While you're at it, be sure to visit Margaret at Nanny Goats in Panties for her special goat give-a-way!)