"Bob's #TEAMLAME" Day 30: Happily Ever After

It's here!  It's here!  We've finally made it to Day 30 of 30 Days of Photographs IV.  It's been a long month, but not without its rewards:

Friendship

Camaraderie

Guffaws

Groans

And then there's this:

I now have a complete bathroom!  There are still a few things left to do, but it's now fully functional. It's been a long time coming, but it's been worth it.  Seeing as how the last bathroom lasted me 27 years, this one should last me until I'm dead.  And you know what that means?

Yeah... I'm living happily ever after!

At least until next summer... when we start working on the kitchen.

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Stop over at the Inferno and give a big thanks to Mike & Ziva for sponsoring this extravaganza.  (I'm sending each of them a case of toilet paper as a thank you gift.)  While you're there, check out who else is living happily ever after. 

"Bob's #TEAMLAME" Day 26: Rising

Coming to the end of the 30 Days of Photographs IV/Bob challenge, I feel a sense of promise.  A sense that one day, things will be as they were and all will be right with the world.

It's like the phoenix rising from the ashes of bathroom destruction.

Thank god we got Fake Barbie out of there in time!

Now go over and sort through the ashes of the Inferno to see who else is rising today.

"Bob's #TEAMLAME" Day 25: Poison

After 25 days of this 30 Days of Photographs IV challenge, we're tired, beaten down, demoralized. What's worse, "Bob" has now come to be known as "30 Days of Bathroom on Blog".  It's enough to make anyone want to drink poison.

Probably just as well that this bottle of "elixir" found buried in our living room wall was already pretty well emptied. We came across it while doing some repairs when we moved in 27 years ago. From the looks of it, it was potent enough to take out all of us.

If you have any strength left, head on over to the Inferno to see who else is trying to poison themselves today.  That's right... hurry... before you do something you might regret...

"Bob's #TEAMLAME" Day 24: Carnival

Oh, we are SO ready for a carnival at our house!  It's time to kick back, have a few beers and par-tay! We're throwing confetti and blowing horns!  Setting off fireworks!  Screaming from the rooftop! Yeah, it was a total carnival here last night.  In honor of Tolstoy, we even had Russian beer. And I bet you can guess why, too....

We still have a ways to go on the bathroom project, but at least we no longer have to run to the basement every time we have to pee.   Life is good.  Really good.  Party on!

Now go check out the party at Ziva's house to see who else is at the 30 Days of Photographs IV Carnival.

"Bob's #TEAMLAME" Day 23: Tolstoy

This bathroom renovation is taking longer than it took Tolstoy to write War and Peace.  Once this bad boy's finally installed, I'm ready to settle in for a nice, long read.

Good thing I splurged and got the "Comfort Height" Kohler Memoirs toilet.  Although, I think I should be able to finish reading the book in less time than it took to get all the unbroken parts of the toilet.

Now get out the fur coat and the caviar.  It's time to mosey on over toward Russia to Finland and check in with Ziva to see who else is channelling Tolstoy today.  

"Bob's #TEAMLAME" Day 22: Frustration

I'll keep this simple today, since by now you already know the back story on this one.

Multiply this times 4 and you can see just how frustrating it is to try to get a new toilet.

Now, go over to the Inferno to see just how frustrated everyone else is by these prompts Ziva and Mike thought up for 30 Days of Photographs IV.

"Bob's #TEAMLAME Day 20: Transparent

After yesterday's scary electrical post, I figured I'd switch to something a bit more tame.  Today's 30 Days of Photography IV prompt is "transparent".

Most people like privacy when they are in the bathroom, so the word "transparent" doesn't really fit into the remodeling plan.  However, at the moment, the most important detail for maintaining privacy is beyond transparent... it's totally missing!

In order to put up the drywall we had to remove the door to the bathroom. The bathroom door is temporarily in the hallway outside the bathroom.

So now we have no toilet, no sink and no door in our bathroom.  The shower curtain is the only thing providing any privacy.  And it's semi-transparent as well.

But the good news... the floor is finished and we have walls again!  It's getting there...

* * * * * * * * *

Time to wander on over to the Inferno to see who else is offering up some transparency today.  No need to close the door on your way out.

"Bob's #TEAMLAME Day 19: Never

Welcome to Bob's #TEAMLAME Day 19.  Today's prompt is "Never."  The obvious choice for this prompt would be to photograph the Ziva's Inferno blog page announcing the 30 Days of Photographs IV challenge and write NEVER! in block letters on top of it.

But, I don't want you to think that I didn't go to great lengths to address this prompt.  During the course of the Great Bathroom Remodeling Adventure of 2013, we came across two things that you should NEVER see:  

 and

What is this, you ask?

Electrical wires.

Buried in the wall.

Just hanging there.

With no coverings.

Live electrical wires.

That can kill you.

Or burn down your house.

NEVER do this.  And hope you NEVER find them in your house.  Because if you do... it probably means there are more of them hidden somewhere else in the secret recesses of your house.  Just waiting for the right time to wreak havoc.  Be afraid.  Be very afraid!

Now go check out that live wire, Ziva, to see who else is playing around with Bob today.

"Bob's #TEAMLAME" Day 18: Always

Time for another exciting episode of Boom Boom's Bathroom Tutorial!

Lighting Tip #1:

Always, I mean always install a light with an exhaust fan in a bathroom.  This is imperative for removing noxious odors and excess steam.  Our previous ceiling sported tiny mold spots from improper ventilation that had to be washed off with bleach every so often.  NOT a fun activity. Cleaning mold off your ceiling is even more tedious than trying to come up with a photo for the Bob prompt "Always."

Lighting Tip #2:

Always, I mean always put in separate switches for the light and the fan.  You don't want to listen to that noise every time you turn on the light.  Better yet... put in a swell timer (buttons in center of switch plate) so you can leave the fan running when you leave the bathroom and not have to come back later to turn it off.  Depending on how steamy the bathroom is, (or how noxious the fumes,) you can select 10, 20, 30 or 60 minutes.
 

Finally, leave the fan on while you go check out how noxious the fumes are over at the Inferno and while you're there, check out who else is participating in this 30 Days of Photographs IV challenge.  (Also known as Bob.)  I feel pretty confident there won't be another entry as lame as this one today.  Thus, I remain the captain and queen of #teamlame!

Boom Boom Out!

"Bob's #TEAMLAME" Day 17: My Junk...

Today's prompt for "Bob's Photo Extravaganza" is "My Junk..."  Surely Mike and Ziva aren't hoping for another round of Anthony Weiner's junk?  Well, even if they are, they're not going to get it here. (Even if my bathroom might be the appropriate venue for such a thing.)  When I talk about junk... it's literal junk.

If you walked into my living room right now, you'd be appalled at how much junk is filling up the place.  My mother would be rolling over in her grave if she could see it.  (That is, she would be if she wasn't currently in ashes in a box up on the shelf in my dad's apartment.)

See what I mean:

However, this isn't just a hoarder's paradise... it's my "staging area" for the bathroom renovation. Yeah... that's what it is... a "staging area".  In fact, my entire house is a "staging area"... for my life.

Is it any wonder how I ended up on #teamlame?

Now, schlep some of this junk on over to the Inferno to see who else is playing the Bob game today.

"Bob's #TEAMLAME" Day 16: Biblical

What kind of heathens are Ziva and Mike that they didn't have "biblical", (our next prompt in the 30 Days of Photographs IV,) fall on a Sunday.  I'm half tempted to skip over this prompt just to protest this heinous oversight.  (I certainly wouldn't skip over it just because I hadn't a clue what to do for it.)

However, because I'm on #teamlame and as such am allowed to post any lame photo I want... here's my son, Vlad, engaging in our remodeling project of biblical proportions.  I think Moses had an easier time parting the Red Sea than we've had trying to complete this project.

Speaking of Moses, take a look at the yellow crow bar hooked onto what remains of the lath.  I think it was actually made from Moses's petrified staff... the one he used to part the Red Sea.  How's that for biblical?  

Meanwhile, is it just me, or does it seem like we've been sold into slavery with this "30 Days of Photographs IV" thing?

Let my people go, Mike and Ziva!  Let my people go!

* * * * * * * * * *

Now... head on over to the Inferno to see who else is trying to make it to the Promised Land at the end of this challenge.

"Bob's #TEAMLAME Day 15: China

Here we are at the half-way mark of the 30 Days of Photographs IV blog challenge.  Little did we know that the IV in the name of the challenge actually stands for "intravenous".  That's right... by this point we all need intravenous drugs to make it through to the end of the challenge. Some of us are so frustrated, we may even try to dig a hole to China just to get away from Ziva and MikeWJ.  But enough moaning and groaning... we'll never get to Day 30 if we keep stopping to complain.

For those of you who've been following my foray into remodeling closely, you know that things have not gone smoothly. It took five (5) shipments to get one (1) complete toilet.  Then the vanity I ordered arrived with a cracked top.  I decided to go to a competitor's store and buy an in-stock vanity instead. This one has a beautiful vitreous china top.  So smooth and shiny and all in one piece!

On closer inspection, however, there appeared to be something lodged in the drain.  No freakin' way! Please tell me I don't have to return yet another purchase!  Let me just get a little closer...

Katherine!  What have you done?

This is not what I meant when I told Katherine I hoped fake Barbie would make an appearance during this challenge.  While I try to pry fake Barbie's cousin out of my new sink, why don't you head on over to the Inferno to see who else is playing along today.  

"Bob's #TEAMLAME" Day 14: NSFW

When Ziva and Mike came up with the prompt NSFW as the prompt for Day 14 of this interminable 30 Days of Photographs IV blog challenge, my initial thought was... WTF?  What does NSFW stand for?  Because I'm on #teamlame, I had to look it up on the internetz.

NSFW = Not safe for work

Hallelujah!  One prompt that won't take much thought!

As most of you know, I teach preschool to four year olds. (The professional term for them is "kidlets".)  The Office of Children and Family Services offers a rather lengthy list of things that are not safe for children:  plastic bags, cleaning products, small objects, alcohol, drugs, etc., etc.  What a buzz-kill!

One of the activities that we do that might surprise you therefore, (given the above list,) is woodworking.  Yes, fellow sufferers of the "Bob" challenge, I'm also giving Boom Boom's Remodeling Tutorial to the kidlets!  One of their favorite activities is drilling holes and pounding nails into 2 x 4 pieces.  It's a great stress reliever when you're four.  Some of our most "active" children are soothed by this activity.  I kid you not!

However, there are still a few renovation tools that are deemed NSFW.

I guess they're afraid the children might get blood on the walls when they cut off their little fingers with the reciprocating saw.  As for the torch... it's all well and good until somebody sets off the fire alarm during nap time.  Then there will be hell to pay!

Geesh!  Taking all our fun away!

Now go check out who else can't go to work today because they're too busy figuring out what's NSFW!

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

And for those of you who were wondering... the clue to today's bathroom update is the rag at the top of the photo.  It's plugging the disgusting, gaping hole where the toilet used to be.  Yes, Vlad pulled out the old toilet last night!  R.I.P. ugly yellow toilet!  My weekend will be spent tiling over the last remaining floor space in preparation for the installation of the long awaited Kohler Memoirs Stately Comfort Height 2-piece 1.28 GPF Round Toilet in White.

"Bob's #TEAMLAME" Day 13: Wrong

After a short detour to determine what a she-woman I am, it's time to get back to Boom Boom's Remodeling Tutorials.

Let's talk about HVAC.  What?  You don't know what HVAC is?  Then you obviously haven't been watching enough HGTV.  I learned everything I need to know from my secret heartthrob, Scott McGillivray on Income Property and that rascal Bryan Baeumler on Disaster DIY.

HVAC Tip #1:

The best way to understand how to do HVAC correctly is to see it done wrong.  Like ours was before we ripped it out.  Take a look and tell me what's wrong with this picture of what was beneath my tub/shower tile.

See that gray thing beneath the conduit holding the electrical?  That's the HVAC ductwork, spewing hot air in the winter and cold air in the summer onto your wet body about waist height as you're trying to take a shower.  That is so wrong.  Since we couldn't totally move the ductwork, I ripped out the lath above it and raised it up about 3 feet so it comes out above the tile.  Still wrong, but a vast improvement over how it was before.  Yes, I can do a minimum of HVAC work.  Because I'm a she-woman.

As for that conduit holding the electrical?  That's the light switch for the bathroom.  Also wrong.  But at least it is accessed from outside the bathroom door instead of from inside the shower.  Even people on #teamlame would know that would be an epic fail!

Now, head on over to Ziva's Inferno to see who else is tackling this latest prompt from Bob's 30 Days of Photographs IV the wrong way.

"Bob's #TEAMLAME Day 12: Tremor

Welcome to Day 12 of the "30 Days of Photographs IV" competition, otherwise known as "Bob".  In case you're wondering what Bob stands for, forget about it.  It stands for nothing.  Now, let's get on with todays prompt... "tremor".

One can't think of the word "tremor" without thinking of the ultimate in tacky horror films, "Tremors", starring Kevin Bacon of six degrees of separation fame.  Come on... admit it... you've watched it... you know you have!

Funny that should come to mind right at this time.  As (bad) luck would have it, I was sitting in the bathroom just the other day, contemplating the next phase of our remodeling project when I heard a noise.  The walls began to shake and lath started to fly off the wall.

Holy Crap!  Could it be?

Just like in the movie, the evil creature blasted through the wall!  I felt so vulnerable, sitting there with my pants down around my ankles.  Damn the six degrees!  Where was Kevin Bacon when I really needed him?

Suddenly another one appeared, this time even closer to my feet...

This one started gnawing on the tiles that I had just put down last weekend.  Damn it for destroying all my hard work!

It didn't take me long to figure out that Kevin wasn't going to show up, (the rat bastard,) and that I'd have to take matters, (and my sledge hammer,) into my own hands.

I don't care what Ziva and Mike are giving out for prizes for this contest... I was NOT going to succumb to the jaws of the evil tremor creature just to get the best photo.  That vile thing was going down.

I let out a scream so blood curdling that the creatures slunk off back into the wall.  I ran out of the bathroom and slammed the door.  Hard!  No more remodeling for me tonight!  Several adult beverages later and there's still no sign of them.

I think I'm safe.  For now.  Or at least until Ziva & Mike come up with the next prompt.  This is all so "wrong"!

Now worm your way over to Ziva's Inferno to see who else is starting to experience tremors after a week and a half of this photo nonsense.  Go #teamlame!

"Bob's #TEAMLAME" Day 11: Girly

Girly?  Today's prompt in Bob's photo extravaganza is "girly"?  What am I supposed to do with that?  I don't think I've been girly since I was in junior high school.  

No, if anything, I've become a she-woman with all this destruction construction work.  No posh frocks or stilettos in my closet.  Work boots are more comfortable for my flat-footed size 12's.

Finger nail polish is not for me, either... it makes my nails feel claustrophobic and I end up scratching it off. As for make-up?  Forget it.  Who has the time?  I have to be at work at freakin' 7:00 in the morning.

It's a good thing I don't use all that stuff because even with the remodel I'd have no room for all those girly things in my small bathroom anyway.   Just take a look at the new medicine cabinet we installed in the bathroom.  Here's my section of the shelf:

The only reason my toothbrush is pink is because it came from my dentist.  (I usually favor blue or green.)  And that other pencil thing?  True confessions time.  I have no eyebrows.  (Well, only a few hairs above each eye.)  I have to draw my eyebrows on each morning so I don't scare the small children with whom I work.  I know... so GIRLY of me!

I am so #teamlame!

Time for me to go shower and try to get the drywall dust out of my hair.

Now put on your big girl panties and mosey on over to the Inferno to check out what the cool kids are doing with this prompt.  I know Ziva and Nicky are going to have more than enough shoe pictures for all of us!  (Although the thought of what Mike might do with this prompt scares me, quite frankly. I shudder to think!)

"Bob's #TEAMLAME Day 10: Close-Up

Welcome to Day 10 of "Bob's Photo Extravaganza".  The prompt today is "Close-Up".  Which brings me back to...

Boom Boom's Bathroom Tutorial

Drywall Tip #2:  (Yes, Jackal, there IS more!)

Dimple your screws.  (As opposed to screwing your dimples.)  Here is a close-up of a perfectly dimpled screw:

Note to Self:  iPhone is not good for close-ups.

The trick is to screw it in just far enough to create a slight indentation, or dimple, in the drywall. Too little and it's going to show no matter how much mud you slap on it.  Screw it in too far and the paper covering gets torn and then you're screwed again.  That sucker's going to show.

So remember the correct order:  screw, dimple, slap mud, screw, dimple, slap mud... etcetera, etcetera.

Actual unpaid worker (in disguise) dimpling screws

This hereby qualifies as the most incredibly lame contest entry, thereby proving my worthiness to be a member of #teamlame.  Tune in tomorrow for another exciting episode of Boom Boom's Bathroom Tutorial.  In the meantime, check out who's screwing around with this prompt over at Ziva's Inferno.  

"Bob's #TEAMLAME" Day 9: Disguise

"Boom Boom's Bathroom Tutorial, Day 9" or "Bob's Photo Challenge".  You choose.

Drywall Tip #1

Perhaps the most valuable tip I can give you for working with drywall is to get a respirator for sanding the "mud" once it dries.  Otherwise you'll be coughing for weeks.  

You can also kill two birds with one stone by using the same respirator as a Halloween costume, or better yet, as a disguise for robbing banks to pay for the bathroom project. Not that I'm going to do that...

   

Now go check out the other masked marauders over at Ziva's Inferno to see how they approached this latest prompt.  But if they demand money, don't fall for it.  (I'm the only dangerous one with sledge hammers and axes.)  Go #teamlame!

"Bob's #TEAMLAME" Day 8: Texture

Today's bathroom renovation tutorial is on "Texture".

Texture is an important, nay, critical part of tiling. If you don't get the texture of the adhesive just right, the tile won't stick.

The first step is to throw a mess of tile adhesive onto the floor and smooth it out with the straight side of your trowel.

Then you take the notched edge of the trowel and drag it over the adhesive on the floor in a couple of different directions before setting the tile into place.  Like this...

Renovating your bathroom is a long, slow, tedious process.  Very similar to the 30 Days of Photographs IV challenge.  It takes even longer when you keep stopping to try and figure out what the hell Mike and Ziva were thinking when they came up these prompts.  Feel free to stop by the Inferno to see how everyone else is faring.  Me?  I'll be busy adding a little more texture to that tile adhesive.

"Bob's #TEAMLAME" Day 7: Seven

Seven?  Seven WHAT?  I need more information for this prompt!  Where am I going to get seven of something AND tie it to my bathroom remodeling project?

Oh, yeah...

Now, go check out Ziva's Inferno to see who managed to successfully avoid becoming a member of #TEAMLAME today.  I've got work to do.