Monday, September 21, 2009

Home Security for BadAss Bloggers


Interesting news out of Baltimore this morning. Seems a suspected burglar was killed by a samurai sword wielding student. Damn! I forgot to add the Samurai Sword to my home security system.

Just think of all the advantages... 

~Unlike commercial home security systems, there are no monthly service fees... not to mention the fines for accidentally setting off the alarm.  

~Unlike pit bulls, there are no vet bills or food expenses... not to mention no shedding. 
 
~Unlike firearms, there are no pesky permits... not to mention the recent rise in ammunition costs.

But best of all... 

You can look like a real BadAss!


I'm gettin' me one of them there swords!



27 comments:

subtorp77 said...

But first Grasshopper, you must learn to be one with the sword. You must learn respect for the blade and it will protect you.

Or you could just hold it up in the air screaming, "AAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!!!!", when/if a burglar ever attempts a break in. Damn guarantee he/she will go potty in their pants and never come back-LOL!

IndigoWrath said...

I have to say the black silk is very flattering on you!

frigginloon said...

Just taser the bastards...no mess. Plus you have the added bonus of watching them jerk around for a while !

ettarose said...

I think it would be cool if I had one of those. Curlers in my hair, 50 pounds overweight, cold cream on my face, wearing my flannel Granny Gown. Wait! Why do I need the sword?

Summer said...

You're right. There's absolutely no way to hold that thing, and not look absolutely bad ass. Sexy too. Just sayin'...

ReformingGeek said...

I'm still holding out for the light saber.

Jules said...

Unless you're a convicted felon. My friend is a parole officer. And if you're a convicted felon, you can't own one of those either. I know...sucks, right?

Jules said...

Wait. That made it sound like I'm a convicted felon. You know I'm not, right? Because I'm not. I watch 'COPS' and stuff.

Nanodance said...

Jules- I immediately thought you were a convicted felon when I read your comment. I still do, despite your denial.

CatLady- Good for burglars and astrophysicists as well, I think.

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

i found you thru one of my followers and then once i read your post, i knew i had to join this party.

you are indeed a badass blogger and i think i'm somewhat badass myself. glad to have stumbled upon you and hope you'll stumble back my way someday - if you can put down the sword long enough

CatLadyLarew said...

subtorp: Not to worry... if you ever stop by my house, I'll recognize you in your cute little brown suit and not slice you in half. Because I am one with the sword.

Indigo: Why thank you... I've always found black to be very becoming. Now I just have to work on the beautiful long hair and ripped physique.

frigginloon: I know... don't you just love watching them twitch! It's so much fun! But then, it would also be cool to see how far their heads would fly.

ettarose: Between the two of us we could really scare the shit out of burglars! (I think we might have been separated at birth.)

Summer: I haven't looked this badass & sexy since I was a stripper in high school.

Jules: Great news... since I went to court class, my record was expunged, which means I can still get the sword! (I know you're holding back on the whole felon thing.)

Nanodance: I've found astrophysicists extremely easy to slice through... I think maybe it's because they're so spineless. (Just thought you'd like to know.)

Cribster: Thanks for joining the party! Sorry about your blog, though. I kinda sliced things up when I visited. (But I think it will grow back.) Eventually I'll get the hang of the sword.

CatLadyLarew said...

Reforming Geek: Light sabers would be great, except I'm always forgetting to recharge them.

Donna said...

I think I could use one of those. Its kinda appealing.Talking about putting romance on a spot! HA! Either you do or you don't.LOL!

Sandee said...

What Ettarose said made me laugh out loud. I think I'll do what she's doing. Bwhahahahahahaha.

Have a terrific day. :)

An Open Heart said...

Aiaiaiaiaiaiaayyaaaaaa! right there with you! guns are sooooo retro....samurai sword is the way to go....

;o)
S

CatLadyLarew said...

Donna: I'm such a romantical kinda samurai.

Sandee: That ettarose!

Open Heart: Hope they didn't use the samurai for your surgery!

julochka said...

there's also the trip to japan involved in obtaining said samurai sword and who can turn down great sushi?

dana said...

OR you could put two bolt locks on each door but only lock one. Then every time the burglar thinks he's picked the locks open, he's actually picked one shut. I dunno. It made sense before I wrote it down.

CatLadyLarew said...

julochka: But, of course! Road Trip!

dana: Actually, that's quite an ingenious idea! I like messing with burglars' heads! It makes perfect sense to me!

Phillipia said...

I actually have a couple swords here...leftover with the cat...

Anyway, G-man does think they are great for home security. "I hear a noise...where's the sword?...oooops, sorry LDBoy, it'll grow back...maybe..."

K a b l o o e y said...

Um... I don't even want to think about that thing being taken away from me (as it surely would be) then used to slice me into sushi.

Hit 40 said...

I don't know if something is wrong with me...

but I love to hear about criminals getting a little piece of ass kicking!!! Nice

Laoch of Chicago said...

Maybe one of those cocktail bar swords would be safer.

CatLadyLarew said...

Phillipia: With G-man around you'll never have to worry about unwanted intruders. Good luck to LDBoy, though!

K a b l o o e y: I'd probably slice myself into sushi... but I'll look BadAss doing it!

Hit 40: I know... I'm going to hell. We'll have fun there together.

Laoch: I could duct tape one to each finger... how BadAss would that look? Kinda like Edward Scissorhands.

idifficult said...

Hey, Samurai sword looks just the ticket. I wonder if I could use one on the commuter crowds in London...

Just thought, add a few peppers to the sword first and then you have burglar kebab.

CatLadyLarew said...

idifficult: Yum! I was just wondering what I should fix for dinner...

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