Wednesday, September 23, 2009

WTF Wednesday #3: More on Home Security Measures


So, Moooooog over at Mental Poo just celebrated his two year blogoversary a few days ago. Congrats on that accomplishment! (Makes me wonder how big his FBI file is by now.)

There are many bloggers out there who inspire me, but the Midget Man of Steel was the one who introduced me to the Motivator. Talk about an inspirational moment. When I'm feeling fairly unmotivated (which is most of the time) I turn to the Motivator to entertain and amuse myself.

And WTF... while I'll never be as clever as Moooooog, I'm still enjoying destroying everything in my photo file by turning it into a motivational photo. Sure hope my mom likes the one I sent her for her 84th birthday on Monday:

(WTF! I'm not positive, but I think the Chip-n-Dale on the left has his ass on backwards.)


But, getting to the subject at hand... in scouring upstate New York the past several days, I just haven't been able to find that perfect samurai sword for my very own
Home Security for BadAss Bloggers arsenal. WTF is up with that?

Then Jules over at Mean Girl Garage says that if you're a convicted felon they won't sell you a samurai sword. WTF? How do you suppose Jules knows that? Hmm.... Is there something she isn't telling us? WTF...Jules must be a bigger BadAss Blogger than I thought. It's her birthday on Friday, so I hope they let her out by then so she can go celebrate. However, I digress... this shouldn't be an issue for me since
my record was expunged after successfully completing court class. But then again, you can never be too sure.

So, in the unlikely event that I am unable to procure said samurai sword, I have taken alternative measures. My vicious canine, Hickory the Wonder Dog, is ready for action, thanks to my son Vlad who has outfitted him with the finest in WWII Soviet weaponry. When I first saw Hickory all decked out with his new rifle, I thought to myself, WTF? What was Vlad thinking? But then as I considered it a bit more carefully, it all made sense. Undoubtedly, at 130 pounds and armed to the teeth, Hickory will strike fear into the hearts of burglars everywhere:


You certainly wouldn't want to mess with that!

Now, if I could only teach him how to use the samurai sword when it arrives...



26 comments:

Quirkyloon said...

Ah do not worry my catlady friend. I'm sure Hickory will take to the sword like a pro.

It's a natural ability that dogs have: sword fighting.

Didn't you know? Aren't you glad you know now? *smle*

Sandee said...

Yes that one dude has his ass on backwards. Gross, just plain gross. There just isn't enough booze to not notice. Just saying.

Have a terrific day. :)

frigginloon said...

I keep telling ya TASERS. They just tasered and cuffed an emu with no fuss no bother. Saves having to scrub the blood from the carpet. Plus Hickory "The Wonder Dog" doesn't look exactly excited over his new assault rifle! Tasering will give him hours of fun. Imagine what he could do to the neighbors cat !

C.B. Jones said...

I wanna see the dog try to reload after he misses.

On second thought, I would like to see video of him shooting someone else, then reloading the rifle after missing. Yeah, that would be a lot safer in my opinion.

Jen said...

Hickory is badass. Just leave him on the porch.

The Peach Tart said...

Hickory looks like he's ready to spring into action.

CatLadyLarew said...

Quirky: I learn so much from you! You're definitely one BadAss Samurai Maven!

Sandee: Yeah... it's totally gross and yet I can't stop looking at it. EWWWWW! Make it stop!

frigginloon: As soon as I figure out where the hell to get a taser, the samurai and rifle will be history! And for the record... Hickory the Wonder Dog never looks too excited about much of anything... which is why we had to pose him with the rifle to make him look more BadAss.

C.B. I'm still waiting for that moment... it would make me so proud.

Jen: Yeah... then he could lick the burglars to death! That would show 'em!

IndigoWrath said...

A dog with a firearm? I don't think "caveat canem" really covers that.

Vic said...

Is the court class like traffic school? "Sword School". They could show you gruesome diversion films of people sliced by swords, and also how the lines of your jacket are totally ruined by carrying a sword in your pocket.

Hmm. Hickory needs a belt to carry his bullets in.

Summer said...

Hickory. I can't decide which is cuter, his name or that picture. Adorable!!

Unknown Mami said...

I certainly wouldn't want to mess with that!

CatLadyLarew said...

Indigo: I know... arming your canine is probably a little bit over the top, but a girl's gotta be careful!

Vic: OMG... I never considered the possibility of a wardrobe malfunction with the sword. Guess I'd better sign up for "Sword School". (I'll get on finding the ammo belt right away.)

Summer: I know... he's just a big moosh and too adorable for his own good. At 12, he's slowing down a bit... and he snores louder than I do!

Mami: Yeah... you might end up with doggy slobber all over you!

otin said...

Why am I thinking about the "Kill Bill" movies? lol

Hit 40 said...

I love your WTF!!! Very fun. Now I am curious about Jules?? No sharing a room with her at blogher!!!

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

How appropriate. Yahoo's home page had a story on the bullet shortage, so you are really smart to go for the sword and a little Hickory protection.

That picture is a total WTF~!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Is the little fella in the first photo peering down his pants in wonder that there's a part of him that ISN'T tiny?

CatLadyLarew said...

Otin: You mean like when Uma Thurman sliced of Lucy Liu's head? That was actually pretty cool... at least in my warped mind it was.

Hit 40: Oh, that Jules... I just had to give her a hard time after she commented on my last post about felons and swords! (Cause I'm obnoxious like that!)

Happy Hour: Just so you know... Hickory's not allowed to participate in Happy Hour while he's on duty.

Vegetable Assassin: Do you use samurai swords to assassinate your vegetables? Just askin'. (And I hate to say it, but the little fella in the photo looks like the manliest of the group... then again, I think I just threw up a little thinking about that.)

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

thats sooo gross...fat guys in latex..

CatLadyLarew said...

Peach Tart: I don't think "spring" is in Hickory's vocabulary anymore!

Yellowdog Granny: Anyone over 100 pounds in latex is pretty gross! Personally, I think latex should be outlawed as a garment fabric.

Eternally Distracted said...

How many WTF's?? I will now have to close my eyes for some time and think happy thoughts ;0)

CatLadyLarew said...

Eternally Distracted: What can I say? With me, one WTF leads to another. (I've been trying to get that picture of the Chip-n-Dales out of my head ever since I found it... just thought I'd share with friends, cuz I'm nice like that.)

moooooog35 said...

Wow. Thank you.

I haven't been pimped that much since my uncle came to town.

Ann's Rants said...

I think I saw him at the gun show last month.

Wait a minute.

I've never been to a gun show...

Jules said...

I'm just sayin', I work with the public.

JD at I Do Things said...

HAHAHAHA! I love those "motivational" posters. And those male strippers just made me lose my breakfast. Luckily it was only yogurt.

CatLadyLarew said...

Moooooog: I'm happy to pimp you out any time... now about that uncle...

Ann: Maybe he sneaked out of the house when I wasn't looking. Naughty dog!

Jules: Amazing what you can learn when you work with the public! (I know you're really as pure as the driven snow.)

JD: Thanks for losing your breakfast so I don't have to!

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