Haven (30M2DoW: Day 6)

Haven?  There is no haven from this interminable exercise in futility, also known as "30 Minus 2 Days of Writing".

My haven most days is what Vlad and I lovingly refer to as "The Crap Shack".  As of two months ago, it's actually paid for.  Yes, I am officially a home owner with no pesky mortgage.  It may be a crap shack, but it's now MY crap shack.

Even so, I do have a couple of havens to fall back on when I want a respite from the daily grind... and the endless "lake effect snow" in the winter.

Less than two months until I get to ditch this place for warmer climes.  Thank goddess for sisters who live in Florida so I don't have to!  Great in the winter, but get me back to New York for the summer. I don't like to sweat!

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Now, if you want to see what other safe havens people have found, wander on over to the Cheese Shack.

You Better Put Out (30M2DW: Day 5)

Nicky and Mike didn't exactly make it easy with these prompts for their "30 Minus 2 Days of Writing" extravaganza.  You better put out a post every day, they said.  Hey... I don't put out for just anybody, you know!  But I'm feeling a little put out right about now.  Today's prompt could be what does me in.

But wait....

What with this being February and all, a certain curmudgeonly tune comes to mine.  No Valentine sappiness here folks... we got enough of that yesterday from Dufus.  But I think I will have done Dufus proud with this one.

Yeah, you better put out that big light soon, Nicky and Mike.  I can't take much more of this!

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Head on over to We Work For Cheese to see who else was put out by today's prompt.

Friendship (30M2DW: Day 4)

Anyone who knows me well knows I'm not exactly a sports aficionado.  Not surprising, given my tendency to fall down while walking... anything more strenuous is definitely out of the question.  No, to me sports are the things on Sunday television that make the regular shows run late so that it messes with my DVR.  Sports are just not on my list of the greatest things in life.

So, it may surprise you to hear that I was one of the millions of Americans sitting before a television yesterday, watching the Super Bowl.  Yes, me.

Then, again... it's not really that surprising.  It's really all about friendship... getting together with friends you haven't seen in awhile to hang out and talk.... and quaff a few beers... and eat Cheetos... and chips... with dip.  Mmmm.... diiiiipppp!

Yes, I watched the Super Bowl.   I confess I didn't pay attention to the entire thing... it was like the lights were flickering on and off in my sports brain.  I think the purple guys won... and they did have some damned fine commercials.

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Now, be a friend and go over to Nicky and CheesyMike's place to see who else is participating in "30 Minus 2 Days of Writing" today.  That's where my other friends hang out.  I can guarantee there will be cheese and there may even be some chips & dip left... if you hurry.

And the Next Thing I Knew... (30M2DW: Day 3)

Back in high school we used to hack around doing stupid stuff.  One of my favorite things was “The Road Rally”.  It was kind of like a scavenger hunt, except in a car.

Imagine, if you will, a hoard of sixteen-year-olds who’d just learned to drive, tooling around town at unreasonable speeds, looking for markers that would determine the next clue toward a mysterious destination, all the while trying to look for short cuts.  

It was my first year of high school and the first time a boy asked me to do something with him.  I didn’t know what a Road Rally was at the time and I’m sure my parents didn’t either or they wouldn’t have let me go.  (This was long before movies such as Cannonball Run.)  But, when I told them it was sponsored by a church youth group, they figured it was okay.  They dropped me off at the church parking lot where I met up with my “team” of two boys and two girls and the next thing I knew, we were piled into an old Chevy coupe with only a sheet of paper with cryptic instructions to guide us. 

Turn up the radios, rev the engines and we’re off!

            ~Turn north out of the church parking lot.  (Nobody told us we’d need a compass.)

            ~Turn west at the “coffee cup”.  (In other words, look for a billboard or store sign with a coffee cup and hope you remember which direction is west.)

            ~Go as far as it takes to sing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” and turn south.  (Huh?)

            ~Turn south when you see a pond.  (I thought we WERE going south!)

            ~Turn two blocks after you get the “OK”.  (Who’s going to give us an ok?)

            ~When you get to the ninth green, turn east.  (Seriously?  Are we supposed to be driving ON a golf course?  I don’t think that’s right.)

            ~Cut through the parking lot of the heathens.  (I guess that would be the Unitarian Church… now we’re back on track!)

            ~After 3 blocks, turn West.  (Do we count that alleyway?)

            ~Stop and get and Dilly Bar.  Save the wrapper to prove you actually stopped.  (The Dairy Queen, to be sure!  Why didn’t we read that clue first and go straight to the DQ?)

            ~Turn north until you get to the big D.  (That had to be the Dahl’s grocery store sign….or was it the lingerie store with the 36-D bra in the window?   As I said, there were teenage boys involved!)

           

Anyway, you get the picture.  Obviously I lived to tell the tale, but soon after “Road Rallies” went out of favor.  Maybe it was all the lost hub caps and the mysterious dents put in our parents' cars.  All I know is, it was my one and only road rally. 

Good times!  Good times!  

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Now... jump in the car and trundle on over to Nicky and Mike's Cheese Shop to see who else is participating in "30 Minus 2 Days of Writing" today.  Tell them Boom Boom sent you!

Hold On (30 Minus 2 Days of Writing: Day 2)

Well, here we are on Day 2 of 30 Minus 2 Days of Writing and already I'm trying my best just to HOLD ON.  Pretty early in the game for that.  Who came up with these prompts, anyway?  I think Nicky and Mike must have gotten into some bad cheese while making them up.

Good thing I've got friends out there to keep me focused and on task.  After all, we're all in this together.

I promise to do better tomorrow.

Now... go and check out who else is still holding on after the first day.

Cheesy in the 1950's (30 Minus 2 Days of Writing, Day 1: Cheesy)

I'm not known to be much of a gourmand.  I'm a child of the 50's.  It was a time when things seemed pretty simple.  Especially food.

The most common lunch at our house consisted of grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.  The bread was fluffy white Wonder Bread, the cheese Velveeta and the soup Campbell's.  My mother was definitely not grooming her children for careers as chefs.  It was bland comfort food.  We'd eat our lunch and listen to Art Linkletter tell stories on the radio.  Simple stories, simple food, simple people.

Not much has changed over the years, although nowadays I make my grilled cheese with whole wheat bread and cheddar or swiss cheese.  I've acquired a bit more of a palate, but I still crave comfort food on a cold winter day.  I'm cheesy like that.

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Those cheese hounds, Nicky and Mike, over at We Work for Cheese came up with an idea for a series of writing prompts for February.  It's called 30 Minus 2 Days of Writing.  In a weak moment I said I'd participate... what was I thinking?  Here we go again...

I Am One With The Gazelle

So, Friday I was sitting comfortably on a bean bag chair with a couple of the kidlets at school, reading a book about cheetahs. The mother cheetah had tucked her cubs safely away in some tall grass and was going out hunting.  On the next page, the cheetah was stalking a herd of gazelles, trying to single one out and separate it from the herd.  Another lesson about the circle of life was about to begin...

"Paula, why do they want to get one of the gazelles all alone?"

"So it's easier to catch. They try to choose one of the older or sicker gazelles."

"But, why would they want an old or sick gazelle if there are better ones?"

Good question... how am I to address this?

"Well, it's sort of like the way I can't run very well... because of my bad knee and broken leg.  You know how easy it is to catch me on the playground?  The cheetah is looking for a gazelle like me so it's easier to get dinner for her babies."

"Oh, yeah, and you're old too.  The cheetah could get you a lot easier than she could get us."

It was at this point that I realized I have reached a certain point of no return in my life.

I have become one with the gazelle!  

*sigh*

To top things off, when I arrived home from school, there was yet another invitation to join AARP awaiting me in my mailbox. Perhaps it's time to finally give in and become a member that club.  Maybe they can help me fend off the cheetahs for a little while longer.

Another day in the life of a (pseudo) cat lady...

It's been four years since I started putting my jumbled thoughts down on paper on this blog.  My original post outlined my general mental state and it's been a mish-mash of demented thoughts ever since.  I've taken advantage of several sites which offer writing prompts and Tess Kincaid's Magpie Tales has become my favorite.

Nonetheless, you'd think after four years I'd have run out of things about which to write.  Many days, I do say to myself, "I've got nothing..."

And then I have a day like today...

I'd just settled in for a long winter's nap, when a sound awakened me.  It was dulcet tones of my cell phone.  Since the caller I.D. said it was my child, I felt it would be a nice gesture if I answered.

"Hey, Vlad!  What's up?" 

"Hi, Mom.  Say, can you come outside?  I got my car stuck in the snow and need help."  

*looks at clock... notices the time... 1:00 a.m.*

"Sure, no problem... I'll be right out."

*looks around for something to put on over warm, comfy jammies*

An hour later, Vlad's car is in the driveway and I'm wide awake, looking forward to my alarm going off at 5:30 so I can get up, shower, shovel some more and get to work by 7:00 a.m.

Which is exactly what happens... I get up at 5:30, shower, make the requisite Eolist Petite blend coffee, check the "closings" list on the news and don't see the Center for Wayward Wee Ones listed, shovel out a small patch in the back yard so the puny dog has somewhere to take care of business, and head into work.

Now my car gets stuck twice on the way to work, necessitating getting out of the car and shoveling the freakin' street so that I can get to work.  (No sense returning the favor by calling Vlad to ask for help since I'm about two miles from home and in these conditions he'd probably get stuck as well and then where would we be?)

Once I make it to work I discover there there is no place to park on the street because the snow plow has left huge mounds of snow next to where one might be able to park one's motor vehicle.  So, it's time to get out the shovel, (yet again,) and dig through the mound of plowed snow, (which is always iced up and ten times heavier than regular snow.)

Where's a good horse when you need one?

So, I park the car, get out and walk halfway down the block to work and notice there are no lights on at my long-awaited destination.  *sick feeling develops rapidly in pit of stomach*

Sure enough, when I pull out my handy cell phone there's a text and a voice mail, saying that the Center for Wayward Wee Ones is closed.  WTF?  Where did those come from?

*sigh*

Figures... pretty par for the course, when it comes to me.

I think I'll just go back to bed now.   I've had enough excitement for one day.

In the Midst of Genius...

Well, it's been a couple of weeks since my blog was mistakenly put on the Huff/Post 50 Favorites for Post 50 Women blog list.  For the life of me, I can't figure out why Jayne Martin and Murr Brewster didn't bump me off this list.  Those two 50+ broads are true geniuses.

That said, here are lucky seven who did make the list... 

• The Fifty Factor by Joanna Jenkins
• The Fabulous Geezer Sisters by Ruth Pennebaker
• Peaches & Coconuts by Deborah
• The MidLife Second Wife by Marci Rich 
• Naked At Our Age: Better Than I Ever Expected by Joan Price 
• How To Become A Cat Lady Without The Cats by Paula Wooters
• (insert Jayne and Murr here)

I already knew Joanna, but now I've had an opportunity to check out the others and I can honestly say, "They're awesome!"  I'm in the presence of genius!  These women have published books and written for national publications!  (Not to mention the fact that Joan includes all sorts of naughty bits!  Woohoo!)

So PLEASE... go check out ALL of these marvelous women!  They deserve your attention!

How I Almost Missed My 15 Minutes of Fame

It's been almost six weeks since I posted anything, so imagine my surprise when I got this comment from our blogger pal, Joanna Jenkins, over at The Fifty Factor...

• 

  
  

  Joanna Jenkins • 7 hours ago

  
  

  Stopping by to say a big Congratulations on being named by Huff/Post 50 as a top women's blogger! Woo-hoo!!!
  Happy holidays, xo jj

  
  

Say what?!  Huffington Post?  Top Women's Bloggers?  Holy crap!

So, I went to the Huff/Post 50 site and low and behold... there was my blog page! Hot damn! I've got to admit, it cheered me immensely, so Thank You, Shelley Emling and Huffington Post!  You made my day!  

And thank you, Joanna... had it not been for your comment, I would have missed my 15 minutes of fame!