At first I couldn't think of a damn thing to write about this theme, but then I remembered a piece I wrote about six months ago. If it's not considered too tacky, I'm going to re-post this little ditty about a few items that are now decorating...
The Surface of the Moon!
Thursday, June 18, 2009And I thought I was a slob!
Check it out:
I mean, really! I can see them leaving an American flag on the moon... just to prove to detractors and conspiracy theorists that man really did land on the moon. I may be a slob, but even I know you're not supposed to leave your junk around when you visit somebody else's house.
Anyway, here are some of the things that got left behind...
- Number 18 on the list is "scongs". WTF is a scong? (If anyone can tell me, I'll personally give you credit in my next blog posting.)***
- Number 33: Defecation collection device. Talk about a worthless piece of shit!
- Number 50: Urine collection assembly, small (2)
- Number 51: Urine collection assembly, large (2) Okaaay! So which one would you request, large or small? Is it better to get two small collection bags or one big one? How are they allocated... by how you frame your request? Which of these people do you think would get the large collection assembly:
"Excuse me, but I believe I have to urinate.
Would you be so kind as to direct me to the water closet?"
"Holy Shit! Do I ever have to take a piss! Where's the head?"
- Number 60: Central Station As in Grand Central Station? No wonder people are wandering around NYC looking lost all the time.
- Number 64: Gnomon (includes mount) Is this like a little statue of a gnome riding a horse?
- Number 78: Footprint Just one? Sure looks like a lot more in the photo below... but maybe that's just part of the whole conspiracy! Besides, can a footprint even be considered something you "left"? I'm thinking a list of things that were left should include actual objects.
- Number 81: Plastic covering for Flag (1) So, does it rain on the moon? Did they leave the covering on the flag, or is it just lying there, waiting for someone to come back and use it to protect the stars & stripes forever?
What would Neil Armstrong's mother
say about all this?
She obviously didn't bring him up very well!
(BTW... I distinctly remember staying up really late, into the wee hours of the morning, to watch the moon landing on television. The astronauts were late... very late. Just like everyone usually is to an appointment watched by millions.)
***Additional note: The great Madame DeFarge solved the mystery of the scong... with a little help from M. DeFarge. To find out what it is, you'll have to backtrack to this post by clicking on the link above.