This story posted on Yahoo News must top that:
Woman risks jail for noisy sex
Friday, January 22 04:37 pm
Caroline Cartwright has been given an eight-week prison term suspended for 12 months -- meaning if she engages in over-noisy coupling again in the next year she will immediately be jailed.
"I've heard a very short extract of the noise you make and can well see that your neighbours would be upset and distressed by this," said judge Beatrice Bolton at Newcastle Crown Court.
Cartwright was served with a civil order over marathon romps with husband Steve, described in court as "unnatural" and "like they are both in considerable pain."
Neighbours at their home in Washington, south of Newcastle, had complained about the noise -- as did passers-by and the neighbourhood letter carrier.
Cartwright was served with an anti-social behaviour order, but admitted at a previous hearing to having violated it almost immediately, and repeatedly, last April.
At an earlier hearing the court was told that the local council set up special equipment in a neighbour's flat and recorded noise levels of 30-40 decibels, peaking at 47 -- as loud as a conversation in the same room.
Cartwright told the court she had tried to restrain herself.
"I did not understand why people asked me to be quiet because to me it is normal," she said, adding: "I have tried to minimise the situation by having sex in the morning - not at night - so the noise was not waking anybody.
"I may be sympathetic to it, but it is not something I am doing on purpose."
Some women have all the luck!
Now, if only I could use that for my "Let's Go to Prison" retirement plan.