Sunday, November 1, 2009

Why Do I Smell Like Kitty Litter and Chicken Shit?

I've been a bit lax in my blog reading this past week and I apologize if I've caused you to feel unloved and neglected. But I have a good reason... I've been up to my elbows in kitty litter and chicken shit. Yes, the Catless CatLady has been off taking care of cats, chickens, dogs, fish, birds and one rooster. And I have the personal aroma to prove it.

You see, twice a year, my dear friend Shamra and her husband go to visit their grandchildren in California and I move into their house for a week to take care of their menagerie. (Apparently a good chicken sitter is hard to find these days.)

It's a relatively simple job and there are many amenities out in the country... like the woods and the pond and the meadow and a well-stocked refrigerator full of Dr. Pepper & beer, and a cozy fireplace and peace and quiet. It's not too taxing to feed the animals and bring in the mail. I can handle that. And I don't even mind picking up the chicken shit in the hen house... also known lovingly as "The Chicken Chalet". The only difficult part is minding the kitty litter.

I don't know what it is about kitty litter... I hate it with a passion. Which is why this cat lady doesn't actually own a cat. Black construction paper kitty cut outs in the windows do me just fine, thank you very much. And I just don't go into the whole nocturnal kitty romp thing. Nocturnal romps of other types are fun, but there's just something about being awakened continuously by the sound of kitty scratchings and collar jingles and a cat trying to eat my hair that I find annoying. Plus, the kitties' antics keep the dogs awake and make them think it's time to go outside to play, so then they nudge me in the face until I get up and let them out. Then I have to stay awake long enough to let them back in. (Worse, they decide to wander off and I have to put on shoes and a sweatshirt and go look for them. Three a.m. is NOT a good time for them to decide to visit the neighbors.) It's a vicious cycle.

But back to the kitty litter... it's not the delightful scent of cat shit, but the floral cover-up scent that they add to the kitty that gags me. And not only that... whenever you scoop out the poop or the cats scratch and toss the litter about, the kitty litter dust permeates the air. I must have a super sensitive sense of smell, because the scent follows me throughout the house. Blech! How do people stand this on a regular basis? Give me good old fashioned dog shit any day. It almost makes me long for "let's take a crap on the living room floor" Jasper.

So, why do I expose myself to kitty litter and chicken shit? Because it's for Shamra, who will always take Hickory the Wonder Dog at a moment's notice and for long periods of time so I can go off on grand and glorious adventures. She adores Hickory, that big slobbering lug of a dog, who drips pond water all over her house and adds his own aroma to the mix. And he feels very much at home there, so I can leave town without guilt. As much as I like to moan and groan about it, I'm still happy to take care of her critters.

Friday night I finally made it home to sleep in my own bed. And it was heavenly! I feel much more rested and alert now. The other bonus to being back in the CatLady's house is that I once again have internet service for my laptop! Out in the country they had no wireless connection to tap into. ACK! As a newly confirmed blogaddict, I was starting to twitch from blog withdrawl. I was driving 50 miles a day just to zoom back into town to post my Halloween stories and then zoom back out to the country before all the animals started messing around and wearing lampshades on their heads.

So that explains why I may have appeared to have gone missing recently. Tune in tomorrow for the photo array of the menagerie... plus some fall color action from my sojourn in the country last week.

22 comments:

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

Well now I don't feel so bad, because I haven't been commenting either!!

frigginloon said...

I have my fingers crossed you will have a photo of the kitty litter tray !

Janice said...

Ah,shades of Dorothy and Kansas: there's no place like home.

Jayne Martin said...

Well, if you ever break down and find yourself with a cat use The World's Best Kitty Litter. Yep, that's what it's called and it is. Welcome back!

Mom of Three said...

Can't wait to see the pics. I'm not fond of animal crap of any kind either!

darkwoodsfaerie said...

I just discovered your blog & I am so excited. As an owner of 3 cats, this is the most entretaining & amazing blog site I have ever came across. You are now stuck with me as I will be reading regularily.

Madame DeFarge said...

And did you take the Little People with you as a treat?

Leeuna said...

"chicken sitter". Hahaaa. Try saying that three times, really fast. I too prefer dog crap. (not that crap of any kind is good, I'm just saying.)

Leeuna@My Mind Wandered

nonamedufus said...

With an aroma like that I'm really glad you're there and I'm here. Ha! I'd heard of dial-up before but not drive-up. Now, that's dedication.

Michelle H. said...

Ah, sweet aromas. You make me miss the farm life. NOT!

CatLadyLarew said...

Lee: And yet you're still one of my top commenters this week... I'm honored!

frigginloon: I'm trying to forget it!

Janice: That phrase holds so much meaning for me!

Jayne: World's Best Kitty Litter? I shall make note of that for future reference!

Triple Mom: You have enough to clean up with three little kids!

Darkwoodsfaerie: Wait til tomorrow... there will be faerie pictures!

Madame DeFarge: Yes, the Li'l People went with me, but they spent most of their time hiding out in their little pink bag. I think they were afraid of being chewed up by dogs & cats. The country can be a dangerous place for Li'l People!

Leeuna: Oh, that was fun! It doesn't come out right at all!

Dufus: I was desperate! Must read blogs! (Since I think I've offended most of my real life friends.)

Michelle: I know... kind of puts you off eggs for awhile, too!

The Old Silly said...

Yeah, sigh, I love cats but DW won't let me have any for just that reason - the litter smell and cleanup duty - even though I'd do the work part. Chicken shit too, though - WOW - better you than me (wink). Round here we got geese all over the place. Nothing like goose poop all over the backyard - luverly.

Marvin D Wilson

buffalodick said...

Even our old cat doesn't like cat litter.. she has stopped using it lately for taking a dump... great..

Skye said...

Well, I too have been out of the loop so to speak, and soon it will just get worse. I'm moving out to Silv's place for Dec. 1 which means I have nothing but dial up for the puter and then only when he's not actually on it himself. Then again, perhaps it won't be any worse than now. It's not like I've been online on a regular basis lately...lol.

Any-who's-it, glad to see you back!

Secretia said...

Chicken litter, the sky is falling!

CatLadyLarew said...

Marvin: I'm guessing the geese are similar to the chickens in terms of care & clean up!

buffalodick: I think kitty litter must be a refined taste, even for kitties.

Skye: Good to hear from you! It's been awhile. Good luck with the dial up!

Secretia: Chicken litter, the sky is falling... Bwahaha!

The Peach Tart said...

Hope you're enjoying being home and away from the smells.

Nina P. said...

Oh the Joy's and smells of the farm... (smiles) Memories of cleaning the pig pens, horse stalls, rabit cages, chicken and doeve pens... yum a glorious job... we'd try our best to get out of... but. no such thing.. As for cat... well... I vote for scoop and flush with the praverbial close clip on the nose. (giggles). Keep up the good work. Love and Light, Nina P

CatLadyLarew said...

Peachy Keen: I much prefer the aroma of coffee in the morning.

Nina: I see you've "been there, done that!" Thanks for the love!

Meow! said...

Grandma used to claim that chicken shit was great for chapped lips. She said "it tastes terrible, but it sure keeps you from licking your lips"! Keep that in the mind next time you visit the Chicken Chalet!

CatLadyLarew said...

Meow!: Mmmmmm.... tasty! Thanks for stopping by, little kitty!

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I'm with you: Give me dog shit over cat shit any day. Cat shit is disgusting. So is cat hair. And irritating? Nothing irritates like a cat. Cats are like children—they're all selfish and self-centered and they only love you when you love them. Dogs, on the other hand, love you even when you beat them. Which also makes them like children, come to think of it, but in a different, and more pleasant way.

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