Friday, September 4, 2009

Fortune Cookie Friday + Happy Hour Friday = Perfection!

Wouldn't you know, I wrote the post below and then went over to Otin's blog and noticed he was doing Happy Hour Friday, which coincided perfectly with what I had written... so I decided to link the two, which makes me happy!

Okay, so it's Friday and I clicked on my fortune cookie widget, which provided me the following words of "wisdom":

Remember, being happy is not always being perfect.

Hell, if that's true, I should be ecstatic. I should be gleefully floating on air. I should be dancing on happy feet. I should be cavorting in the meadow with Hickory the Wonder Dog.

Because I'm never perfect! I mean never! Really, I'm serious! I know you must find that hard to believe. But, the good news is... that means there's hope for happiness at the CatLady's house.

In a perfect world I would stay happy forever, but now I'm worried that the truth is exactly as the fortune says. If everything was perfect, would I know that I was happy? Would happiness be diluted if I was never UN-happy? Oh, no! WTF? This is beginning to sound like an exercise in Zen philosophy... ack!

My problem right now is that I actually am very happy. I'm happy not going to work. I'm happy reading blogs all day long. I'm happy drinking gallons of coffee in the morning and mainlining Dr. Pepper in the afternoon. I'm happy watching Dexter and other mindless drivel on DVD. I'm happy playing Apples to Apples and other games. I'm happy hanging out and drinking wine with Nanodance and my other friends. I'm happy having pajama day every day.

Sooner or later, though, I'm going to have to go out and seek gainful employment, which means there will be hassles and stupid people to deal with and long hours and waking up at night worrying about some project that's gone wrong. And then I won't be happy anymore. I can't help myself. Because I'm so disorganized, I have to over-compensate by being uber organized at work, which means I have to keep up the facade of being a competent person, which is so very exhausting.

Plus, I really hate perfect people. I hate people who have perfect hair and perfect children and perfect spouses and perfect houses and perfect pets and perfect jobs. They're just so annoying! It's like Lance & Melanie. We used to get Christmas letters from these distant relatives, whose kids were always perfect. They used up two pages of paper, telling us all about the awards and good grades and perfect teeth and perfectly polite manners of these perfect children. It got to be that at our house the names Lance & Melanie were synonymous with obnoxious prigs. (And since Lance & Melanie are so perfect, they would never condescend to read a blog like this, so I think I'm relatively safe from slander suits.)

So, why do we spend so much time and energy trying to pretend we're perfect, when perfect people are such obnoxious prigs? Happily, the answer is, I don't try to be perfect anymore. And none of my friends do either. Which is why I like my friends so much. And why I like my cyber-bloggy-friends so much. Because we're rude and irreverent and obnoxious and fun! That makes me happy... and happily less than perfect. Which means I'm probably going to hell, but that's okay. I'll have lots of friends there.


Lisa/Jedi and Brendan! said...

Ah Cat Lady friend... your last bit of diatribe about Lance & Melanie really struck a chord. We also found ourselves dreading the yearly holiday letters, telling us in lingeringly, loving detail all about their perfect families (the less-perfect ones were, and are, perfectly fine :). Our family is perfect only in it's chaotic dysfunction, & we wouldn't have it any other way! That's why we resorted to the "picture=1000 words" thing & started sending out photo cards with minimal verbiage. I still have the fun of making the cards, & after the holidays people can throw them out or hang them on the fridge as desired.

I'm glad you're having fun, Lady! Don't forget Fridays chez nous...!

The Peach Tart said...

I gave up that perfect crap years ago.

KC said...

That's where those "perfect" holiday letters come from - hell.

C.B. Jones said...

Last time I read the message in a fortune cookie, it said "Leave me alone, or I'll file a restraining order on you, Michael!"

My name ain't Michael, but I'm keeping my distance form those things just in case.

Madame DeFarge said...

Perfection is much overrated by those who preach it. But really, drinking Dr Pepper? Rots mind and teeth. Drink diet Pepsi. Rots mind and teeth, but with fewer calories. Perfect.

Anonymous said...

Bravo, bravo!

Gave up the "perfect" gig many moons ago. dr. pepper tastes purdy darn close to the real McCoy.

I need to start buying stock in the stuff! I'd be a self-made millionairess! hee hee

Anonymous said...

You do realize that those Christmas letters are full of shit, right??!!

CatLadyLarew said...

Lisa/Jedi and Brendan... and that's also why I rarely send ANY holiday cards anymore! I'd kill myself before I wrote a Lance & Melanie holiday card... although I confess, I have written one or two parodies in my time.

Peach Tart... which is why I like you!

KC... now that's a hell of a note, isn't it?

CB... fortune cookies = bad news... which is why I'm exposing them for what they are!

MME DeFarge... diet Pepsi? What fun is that? If I'm going to sin, I'm going to sin boldly!

Quirky... I'm a Pepper, You're a Pepper, Shouldn't they like to be a Pepper, too?

Jules... TOTALLY full of shit... which is why they're so delightfully fun to mock!

otin said...

You know, I could sit and blog all day! I love reading people's thoughts and expressing my own! I wish that I could support myself like this!!!!

CatLadyLarew said...

otin... Me too! It makes me so happy! Thanks for joining the party!

Anonymous said...

CatLadyLarew, how'dya do? I should be euphoric! All the perfect people are dead, I thought...hmmm...or have yet to be born, wot? And gallons of coffee, you say? I'm there! Pretty interesting place you have here and thanks for dropping by my place. Any friend of otin's is more than welcome to stay a while. I'll return, anon!

Summer said...

Thank you for saying it. I like to tell myself that perfect people are really deep down just psychopaths. I'm happy being a little (maybe a lot) quirky. ;)

CatLadyLarew said...

subtorp... Welcome! Glad you enjoyed your visit... stop over for coffee any time!

Summer.... Psychopaths - I like that... welcome to the quirky party!

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