Saturday, August 15, 2009

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch...


I know I got a little carried away the past few days with all the excitement about the Meme Award. Thank you! Thank you! It was getting so I couldn't even go out in public because of everyone wanting my autograph. (Like on charge slips.) I did make it out into the real world to go to the therapist, though... my doctor won't give me my drugs unless I see my therapist regularly, so every once in awhile I go and we shoot the shit and laugh about my weird life and she tells me what's new with her and then I go away and fill my prescription. It's a win-win situation for both of us.

Anyway, my therapist started telling me about taking her granddaughter berry picking and it reminded me of the first time I took Little Vlad berry picking.

When Vladimir was little, he wasn't a big fan of animals. He was always somewhat nervous around animals, especially large ones, because they are so unpredictable.* Trips to the zoo were highlighted by Vlad avoiding most of the caged animals and staring at the fish in the aquariums. Fish are generally pretty innocuous because they don't charge at you or anything, like man eating tigers or rhinoceroses do. And you can forget about pony rides... that just wasn't happening. (In fact, Vlad was so disenchanted with animals that he took a stuffed Thomas the Tank Engine to bed every night instead of the typical teddy bear.)

But getting back to the berry picking...

We had gone strawberry picking with some of our best friends when Vlad was three. It was a beautiful day and we were having great fun watching Vlad and his little friend Maggie eating berries as they moved along the path. They just looked so gosh darned cute with strawberry juice dripping down their chins!

We finally got several baskets filled and took them up to the farm wagon to pay for our bountiful harvest. Sitting on the wagon was a cardboard berry basket with a tiny bird inside. Apparently the owners of the field had found the bird abandoned under one of the strawberry plants. And believe it or not, Little Vladimir was fascinated by the wee bird. He just kept staring at it. I was amazed and very heartened by his interest in a real live animal... finally! Could my child actually be forming a relationship with a living creature? I was even more excited when he said....

"I want to take that bird home!"

Oh, be still my heart! My child likes an animal! I was ready to go buy a bird cage and start making up names for the little critter. The lady told us the story of how she found the baby bird and how they were hoping they could feed him and nurse him back to health until he could make it on his own. Vlad didn't make eye contact with the nice farmer lady as she spoke, but continued to just stand there and just stare at the bird. He even asked if he could climb up on the wagon to get a better look at it.

It was so sweet I almost cried. Then, as he eyes remained glued to the bird, he said...

"I want to take that bird home and eat it for dinner!"



Where did I go wrong?

And just in case you were wondering.... We did not have fowl for dinner that night.




*It turns out that wariness of animals is an Asperger's thing. Vlad was 9 before we got our first and only pet... Hickory the Wonder Dog. Vlad had finally begun to show an interest in animals and I figured a dog was a better bet than the slug he brought home and begged me to keep.


28 comments:

Oz Girl said...

Yep, a dog will beat out a slug every single time. :) Glad you opted for the dog.

AD said...

LOL!

I was smiling with joy throughout this post until little Vlad said THAT.

Haha. Kids. Gotta love 'em.
:]

ettarose said...

Cannot believe he would want to eat such a tiny little bird. Now a baby chicken or duck I could see. That was cute.

Ann's Rants said...

YOU are a fantastic, funny writer.

And I'm not just sayin' that because you are my 200th follower, but I sure as hell appreciate that.

AND just so you know, after our cat died, Two-Year-Old asked "Can we eat him?" (not in this country, dear)

I will be back!

CatLadyLarew said...

OZ Girl: Yep, it turned out a whole lot better, although Hickory the Wonderdog at 130 pounds eats a tad bit more than the slug did.

AD: Exactly my reaction!

ettarose: He had a small appetite in those days.

Ranting Ann: Thanks! And I'm honored to be your 200th! Good to know I'm not the only parent whose child thinks it's okay to eat the family pets upon their demise.

Fragrant Liar said...

Well at least he's an animal lover. That's the important thing.

Hey, have you been over to Rebel Mother's site? She has a child with aspergers too.

Chrissy said...

HA! SO close.

Phillipia said...

I love it. Vlad is awesome (in his own way).

CatLadyLarew said...

Fragrant Liar: Yes, he even got to like and ride my sister's horse. I'll check out Rebel Mother's site. Can you send a link? Couldn't find it on Blog Catalog. Thanks!

Chrissy: So close, just to be shot down at the last moment! It was a wonderful moment!

Phillipia: There's nobody else like Vlad! I can always count on him to see any situation from a unique perspective... and to make me laugh!

Awesomeness said...

How funny! At least you know if he ever got lost in the wilderness, he wouldn't starve.

Winky Twinky said...

It's a good thing he voiced his intention BEFORE you actually took the bird home... ;)

Hit 40 said...

Supersperm whacked a bird to get the feathers when he was little. Even worse.. he did this while at his church day camp. The horror!! They were totally freaked out. Don't worry the kid has not done any other damage to an animal. I should go back to let them know that he is not a serial killer yet.

CatLadyLarew said...

Awesomeness: I keep trying to lose him in the wilderness, but he keeps finding his way home.

Winky Twinky: Then again, it might have saved me a trip to the grocery store.

Hit 40: That's one of the reasons Vlad never went to one of those church day camps... they get so tetchy about those kinds of things. Although, he and Supersperm probably could have been in time out together and become fast friends.

Slyde said...

THAT was awesome!

Pearl said...

The little bugger.

:-)

My son used to kiss the meat we had for dinner... HE gave it some consideration when I told him we could become vegetarians, but he declined.

Pearl

CatLadyLarew said...

Slyde: Thanks for stopping by... your site is awesome as well! And Vlad is definitely awesome!

Pearl: I don't think Vlad would ever become a vegetarian. He loves his meat too much. (Did that just sound really bad?)

Collette said...

Glad the dog was welcomed. A slug just doesn't quite make it as a pet. If you give a dog some beer, they usually like it. Now slugs, well, they just kind of melt into an oozing icky thing in beer. (for lack of a better description...lol)

Jeve (aka John and Steve) said...

That is too funny! I love that he wanted to eat it.

Coincidentally, I have a story up on my blog about an abandoned bird. Must be in season.

CatLadyLarew said...

Collette: Glad to welcome YOU to How to Become a Cat Lady.
I'd been wondering what ever happened to Vlad's slug... that must be what the ooze in the bottom of my beer mug was that one day.

Jeve: Just wait til your baby finally gets here! I'm headed over now to check out your bird blog!

JennyMac said...

Oh my...LOL...his little comment made me crack up! :) Babes...and the things they say.

Mr. Glob said...

Ha! that is great...

Madame DeFarge said...

Great post. At least he wanted to eat it and not play with it.

Vic said...

I loved this story. My niece (with Aspberger's) tried to make friends with bees this summer because someone told her they would like her.

They did. :)

Louise said...

Reminds me of my daughter. She wants us to collect ants and bring them home so she can eat them. (She is 5)

CatLadyLarew said...

Mr. Glob: Thanks for stopping by! Glad I could make you laugh... Vlad makes me laugh all the time.

Madame DeFarge: I don't know... it might have made a better pet than a dinner.

Vic: I'm sure the bees loved her!

Lousie: I hear they're very tasty dipped in chocolate!

spudballoo said...

Oh this is so sweet and funny, lovely post. x

lale said...

My younger sister did that with a starfish. My father dove a couple of metres down into the aegean for one and presented it to her, aged two. When asked what she wanted to do with it, she promptly replied, "I want to cut it up, fry it in oil and eat it."

CatLadyLarew said...

Spudballoo: So glad you liked it. Thanks!

Lale: Wow! A real live starfish? Cool! With those precocious culinary insights, did she become a chef when she grew up?

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