Back when the movie first came out, I'd been hearing great things about the actors... and how they look in loin cloths. The other (male) members of my household at the time didn't seem too interested in going to see these great actors in action, though. They just weren't into the whole epic historical drama thing. So, that left me to go see it on my own.
The perfect opportunity presented itself when Vlad asked me to drive him and his buddy to the prom. Vlad went to a very small school, where the entire student body went to the prom regardless of whether they had dates. With Vlad being only 15 and having no driver's permit, it was up to me to provide chariot service. Since the prom was at a country club all the way over to hell and back on the other side of town, I decided to go to the movies while I awaited the call to retrieve the prom goers.
I figured it was the perfect time to see Troy. The movie ran about as long as the prom did and I had a good book with me, so I could stop for coffee after the movie. Being the conscientious parent I am, I kept my cell phone on my person at all times. I figured I could turn off the ringer in the theater and leave it on vibrate so I didn't miss their call.
Except that I discovered I had no pockets. Rather than hold it in my hand for two hours, I did the next best thing. I reached down the front of my shirt and tucked the phone into my bra. I figured it was dark so no one would notice and the chances of Vlad calling during the movie were slim.
But not slim enough. With about a half hour remaining in the movie, the phone began to vibrate.... and flash! Whoa! Here I was, in the middle of a darkened theater, desperately trying to step over other patrons to get out, with a mysterious strobe light emanating from my boobs. Talk about a great way to get noticed! All the eyes that only moments before had been riveted on the well-oiled, heaving, male muscles on the screen were now riveted on me. The fact that I was laughing hysterically didn't help. I felt like I was the bearer of the light that launched a thousand ships.
So, after humiliating myself in public once again, I never saw the end of the movie Troy. I kinda figured out what happened, though. Maybe I'll rent it on DVD some day and watch it in the privacy of my own home. That's the way well-oiled, heaving, male muscles should be appreciated anyway.
