Not So Stately Comfort...

After 27 years of living with a stupid bathroom, Vlad and I finally decided to bite the bullet and remodel.  And when I say "stupid", I'm being kind.

Our bathroom is 5 1/2 feet x 7 1/2 feet...

(Not exactly a "family size" bathroom.)

We have an airplane-sized triangular yellow sink with the faucet on the side... 

 (Note rust stains and sparkly 1960's vintage Formica top as well.)

There is a heat vent in the middle of our shower so the air hits you at waist level while showering.  

(This is after we tore off the tiles.  At least they didn't put that light switch in the shower as well.)

Seriously, you've never seen such idiocy.  Then there's the perpetually leaking shower handles, the medicine cabinet that is placed in the middle of the wall, nowhere near the sink, the short 54" yellow bathtub and the yellow toilet that never looks clean.  What were they thinking?

Of course, what you're probably thinking is, "My god!  How did that woman live with that pathetic bathroom for so long!"

Because remodeling is expensive, not to mention a pain in the ass!  But finally Vlad and I couldn't take it any longer and decided we could do it ourselves.  (Quite frankly, it would be hard to make it look worse!)

So, we began destructo work on the Fourth of July.  One of the first things I did was to order a Kohler Memoirs Stately Comfort Height 2-piece, 1.28 GPF Round Toilet in White.  Because I'm a classy, stately kind of woman.  It's beautiful!  Or at least it was online.

The excitement was building as we ripped tile, drywall and lath off the walls.  Then our toilet arrived on our doorstep.  In a box marked FRAGILE in big letters.  Laying on it's side.  With big dents in the side of the box.

Yes, the toilet was in more than 2 pieces.

So I packed it into my car and took it to the Home Depot, where they inspected it, said, "Yes, it's broken," refunded my money and ordered a new one for me at a 10% discount.  Score!  I wasn't ready for it anyway, so after the initial disappointment, it was all good.  This time I had it delivered to the store for good measure.

I went online a few days ago to check up on things and learned my second new Kohler Memoirs Stately Comfort Height 2-piece 1.28 GPF Round Toilet in White had arrived at the store!  Oh, goody!  Vlad and I could pick it up this weekend.

Then I woke up this morning and there, sitting in my "in box", was an email from Annette K. Plumb (a name that fits) from Home Depot.  She was apologizing for the fact that the second toilet had arrived at the store damaged and that they were canceling my order and refunding my money.

I don't want to cancel the order!  I want my Kohler Memoirs Stately Comfort Height 2-piece 1.28 GPF Round Toilet in White!  (In no more than 2 pieces!)

*sigh*

Maybe I'm just not meant to have a Stately toilet.

But, I'm nothing if not a glutton for punishment.  So after a lovely chat with a young woman named Stephanie at the Home Depot Customer Service Center, (during which I'm sure I sounded most pitiful,) I'm now getting a third Kohler Memoirs Stately Comfort Height 2-piece 1.28 GPF Round Toilet in White for 15% off.

Let's hope I don't have to go to 20%!  I'll let you know how things turn out.

"I Like It When You Hold My Buddy!"

It's been a while since I've written anything.  Most people probably think I've either died or finally been sent away to the home.  In actuality, I've been plagued with "end of year syndrome"... a common ailment of teachers everywhere.  

The chaos of paperwork, field trips, and the mounting anxiety of children as they realize they're leaving the comfort of the nest they've known since birth and heading off to Kindergarten in the fall, is not conducive to blog writing.  However, amidst the chaos also comes fodder for blogs.

One of my favorites in the "goofy things kids say" category, comes from our classroom birthday cards.  We make a giant-sized card and have each child tell something they enjoy doing with the celebrant.  You usually get comments such as:

"I like playing in the block area with you."

"I like playing super heroes with you."

"I want you to come to my house for a sleepover."  

One of my favorites this year was, "I love you with all my heart."  (A standard from one little girl, who then went on to add what she enjoyed doing with each friend.)

As scribes, we write down exactly what the children say and trust me, when we read their contributions aloud during the "birthday meeting", they let us know in no uncertain terms whether we have recorded their thoughts correctly.

So when one little boy asked me to write, "I like when you hold my buddy," it gave me pause.  Do I burst out laughing or call OCFS?  Yes, sometimes my mind goes straight to the gutter, (although in all fairness, we're trained to watch out for this kind of thing.)  A little "you show me yours and I'll show you mine" is a natural progression of little kids exploring their world at this age and is not cause for alarm.  However, we also teach children about personal space and respecting their own and others' bodies.  

It took me a few days before I finally figured it out.  When we are ready to line up to go outside we ask the children to "find a buddy".  They choose a friend and hold hands on the way to the playground.  

Yes, I could breathe a sigh of relief.  He simply meant that he likes holding his friend's hand on the way to the playground.  

You'd think that after 30 years of doing this, I'd have heard it all.  But, no... that's what keeps me coming back.  As for the saying, "Out of the mouths of babes comes wisdom?"  It's definitely true.  It just takes me a little while to figure it out sometimes!