Friday, July 19, 2013

Not So Stately Comfort...

After 27 years of living with a stupid bathroom, Vlad and I finally decided to bite the bullet and remodel.  And when I say "stupid", I'm being kind.

Our bathroom is 5 1/2 feet x 7 1/2 feet...
(Not exactly a "family size" bathroom.)

We have an airplane-sized triangular yellow sink with the faucet on the side... 
 (Note rust stains and sparkly 1960's vintage Formica top as well.)

There is a heat vent in the middle of our shower so the air hits you at waist level while showering.  
(This is after we tore off the tiles.  At least they didn't put that light switch in the shower as well.)

Seriously, you've never seen such idiocy.  Then there's the perpetually leaking shower handles, the medicine cabinet that is placed in the middle of the wall, nowhere near the sink, the short 54" yellow bathtub and the yellow toilet that never looks clean.  What were they thinking?

Of course, what you're probably thinking is, "My god!  How did that woman live with that pathetic bathroom for so long!"

Because remodeling is expensive, not to mention a pain in the ass!  But finally Vlad and I couldn't take it any longer and decided we could do it ourselves.  (Quite frankly, it would be hard to make it look worse!)

So, we began destructo work on the Fourth of July.  One of the first things I did was to order a Kohler Memoirs Stately Comfort Height 2-piece, 1.28 GPF Round Toilet in White.  Because I'm a classy, stately kind of woman.  It's beautiful!  Or at least it was online.

The excitement was building as we ripped tile, drywall and lath off the walls.  Then our toilet arrived on our doorstep.  In a box marked FRAGILE in big letters.  Laying on it's side.  With big dents in the side of the box.

Yes, the toilet was in more than 2 pieces.

So I packed it into my car and took it to the Home Depot, where they inspected it, said, "Yes, it's broken," refunded my money and ordered a new one for me at a 10% discount.  Score!  I wasn't ready for it anyway, so after the initial disappointment, it was all good.  This time I had it delivered to the store for good measure.

I went online a few days ago to check up on things and learned my second new Kohler Memoirs Stately Comfort Height 2-piece 1.28 GPF Round Toilet in White had arrived at the store!  Oh, goody!  Vlad and I could pick it up this weekend.

Then I woke up this morning and there, sitting in my "in box", was an email from Annette K. Plumb (a name that fits) from Home Depot.  She was apologizing for the fact that the second toilet had arrived at the store damaged and that they were canceling my order and refunding my money.

I don't want to cancel the order!  I want my Kohler Memoirs Stately Comfort Height 2-piece 1.28 GPF Round Toilet in White!  (In no more than 2 pieces!)

Maybe I'm just not meant to have a Stately toilet.

But, I'm nothing if not a glutton for punishment.  So after a lovely chat with a young woman named Stephanie at the Home Depot Customer Service Center, (during which I'm sure I sounded most pitiful,) I'm now getting a third Kohler Memoirs Stately Comfort Height 2-piece 1.28 GPF Round Toilet in White for 15% off.

Let's hope I don't have to go to 20%!  I'll let you know how things turn out.
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