Doogie Doggies

Yesterday I got together with my dear friends Glennda and Cindy to go birdwatching.  Glennda & I go way back to when our sons were in preschool together and I met Cindy through Glennda. Cindy also has a son, Nick, who as it turns out was born just hours before Vladimir.  The three of us share similar beliefs in terms of child rearing, religion, (or lack thereof,) progressive education and making the world a better place... as well as truly warped senses of humor, so it was a perfect match all around. 

Consequently, Vlad, Nick and Little Johnny were also the best of friends during those formative years.   We would frequently take turns picking the boys up from preschool for "play dates".   

One day I picked up Vlad and Little Johnny from preschool and had both 4-year-olds safely strapped into their car seats.  The two boys were chatting away merrily in the back seat in their cute little 4-year-old voices.  

As I came to a stop light, a car suddenly swerved in front of me to make a left hand turn from the right hand lane.  I had to slam on the brakes to avoid a collision.  Turning around to check that the wee ones were okay in the back seat, I heard Little Johnny say, 

"Doogie Doggie!"  

I, of course, was looking around for the stray dog that I thought he was talking about.  When I saw nothing, I asked Little Johnny what he was talking about and he replied,  

"You know, DOOGIE DOGGIE."  

Blank stare from me.  Say what?  So I asked the obvious... "What's a Doogie Doggie?"  To which Little Johnny replied, 

"You know, a bad driver.  That man is a Doogie Doggie because he is a really bad driver and he made you stop fast." 

Okay... I couldn't help myself... I just had to ask the next obvious question....  "And why do you call bad drivers Doogie Doggies, Little Johnny?"

Looking at me with distain, as though I was the dumbest person in the world, Johnny casually replied....

"Because it sounds so much better than ASSHOLE!"

There was absolutely nothing more I could say after that, as I was laughing hysterically in the front seat... and the two sweet little boys went back to their conversation as though nothing had happened.  Gotta love those kids!  

BTW... I'm happy to report Glennda has never been sent to Mommy Jail either.