Hello Kidney

Remember the story of the unwary traveler waking up in a hotel bathtub full of ice with a kidney missing?  Since I didn't do any traveling over the recent holidays, I didn't have to worry about that happening to me.  Turns out I really don't have to worry about it in the future either.  But let's not get ahead of ourselves...

Those of you who have been regulars around here know that I make a habit of visiting my local hospital once a year.   You'll be happy to know that my bones remained intact throughout 2010. 

Not wanting the folks over at Strong Memorial Hospital to think I'd forgotten about them at the holidays, though, I decided to mosey on over there two days after Christmas.  Just to say hello.  And as long as I was there, maybe they could take a wee peek at my abdominal cavity to check out why I was having severe pains that wouldn't go away.

We had a rip roaring good time!  You meet so many fascinating people in the ER.  Like my first roommate... a sweet little old man who was suicidal.  He didn't stay long as he moved on to more luxurious accommodations in the mental ward.  Then I was awakened from a lovely doze around 2:30 in the morning by my next roomie, a jolly old soul who sang Christmas carols at the top of his lungs.  Sadly, he couldn't remember the words and was the source of a peculiar aroma that came wafting over the curtain that separated us, but why let that spoil a new friendship.  Good times, good times!

About the time they gave the caroler from hell a sandwich and cup coffee to sober him up and sent him on his way, my pain went away.   I was laying there wondering if I should just get dressed, rip out my IV and go home when a doctor arrived to tell me my labs came back wonky.

So it was off to get a CT scan, followed by an ultrasound and a cardiac stress test.  The fun just never stops around that place.   It was the ultrasound technician who showed me the gallstones all lined up in a row like little pearls.  Pretty!  Guess they'll just have to yank that sucker.  No problem.  I can deal with that. 

It was what she said next that gave me pause.... "Has anyone ever told you that you have polycystic kidney disease?"  Uh... no.  Although I do recall my aunt had PKD and had the pleasure of doing dialysis and having not one but two kidney transplants. 

So much to look forward to! Hopefully, it will be many more years before I get to that point, so it's still safe for you to come visit.  But I wouldn't wait too long... or you may end up in a bathtub filled with ice. 

Automatons: A Magpie Tale

Lunch, George Tooker, 1964, Columbus Museum of Art

Day after day they go to the cafeteria, bringing the remnants of last night's dinner.  The worker bees bend over their food intent on little other than consuming the meal that will sustain them through the next four hours until the clock signals quitting time.  Nothing ever changes nor do they expect it to.  The days blend into one another as time marches on.

It would only take one person to look up, to smile, to start a conversation, to open up the drab world and bring in the light.  But that would mean taking a risk.

Instead they opt for anonymity while sitting shoulder to shoulder.  Automatons at the automat.

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Willow over at Life at Willow Manor  has been providing inspiration for bloggers with her photo prompts on a site called Magpie Tales.  Be sure to check out the other fabulous writers participating in Magpie Tales this week.  You'll be glad you did! 

I'm a Fun Person... Really!

I went to the doctor for my biennial physical last week.  All things considered, I'm in pretty good shape. 

Blood pressure = good
Cholesterol = good
Diabetes = none
Weight = not good, but on a downward turn since my last visit
EKG = normal
PPD = negative
Flu Shot = injected

I could balance on one foot, walk a straight line, touch my fingers to my nose without looking.

Yeah... not bad at all.

However, I started feeling a little discouraged when my internist stated rather than asked... "You're not sexually active, are you?" 

Excuse me?  Is it that obvious that I've lost my allure?  Don't I look like a fun person? 

How insulting!

So when he came to the part about asking me, in compliance with the New York State Health Department policy, "Would you like a test for HIV?"

Well, I had to redeem my self-esteem somehow...

I said, "Sure!"

Oh yeah!  Those folks down at the lab were going to think I'm one wild and crazy woman!  They probably took one look at me and no doubt had me pegged for a slutty intravenous drug using degenerate.  Good times!  Good times!

Geesh... the lengths I have to do these days to convince people I'm not all washed up! 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

On a more serious note...  get tested!

And just in case there was ever any doubt... I'm HIV negative.

The Zen of Working With Very Small People

For the past month I've been working with very small people.  We're talking seriously small people.  So small they don't even talk yet.  At least not in any manner discernible to the average adult.  These wee ones are just beginning to experiment with the spoken word.  Lately, the most frequently used word in our classroom is "woof!" 

Most people wouldn't last an hour in this situation, let alone eight hours a day, five days a week.  It takes a hardy soul to keep from running out screaming.  Already I've had several colleagues ask how I get through the day without shooting myself.  (Of course, the answer to that is simple... guns are outside toys and not allowed at the Home for Wayward Wee Ones.) 

The key to survival is to attain a zen-like state in which you contemplate everything these small people do with a kind of wonder and reverence.  Their babbling becomes quite conversational if you listen closely.  I often wonder if it's a secret language that babies understand perfectly.  And their persistence in learning to do all the simple tasks of life that we take for granted is rather astounding when you stop to think about it.  Some successes may seem mundane while others are truly exquisite...

We have a long, low easel in our classroom on which paper is always available for exploring different media. Three of the children worked together over the course of several days to create this combination of watercolor, tempera and crayon.

I have no idea how long I'll be working with these four wee ones, aged 11-14 months old, but I'm trying to make the best of the time I have with them.  It's a physically exhausting job but there is a peace that comes when they are finally asleep with the lights turned down low and quiet music on in the background.  Rocking a small child to sleep can be a form of meditation when you match your breathing to the back and forth movement of the chair.  It certainly gives me time to think about what I want to do next with my life... 

Catching Up is Hard to Do

Blogging is a funny thing.  You get on a roll and all is blissful as you exchange banter back and forth with other like-minded people out there in cyberspace.  But woe betide you if you stray from the path for any length of time. 

After awhile people start to wonder if you've broken a limb or something and start sending condolence cards.  The longer you go between posts, the fewer and farther between the inquiries become until one day you wake up alone in the dark, with no one to make you laugh or snort Dr Pepper out your nose. 

So, you begin the long trek back to your cyber-friends.  And a long trek it is.  Do you have any idea how long it takes to catch up on a blog roll that has some fifty people... or more?    Catching up is hard to do.  I'm working on it, but I keep finding myself channeling Neil Sedaka as I work my way back...

Don't take your love away from me
Don't you leave my blog in misery
If you go then I'll be blue
'Cause catching up is hard to do

Remember when you read me, right?
And you laughed at me all through the night
Think of all that we've been through
Catching Up Is Hard To Do

They say that catching up is hard to do
Now I know, I know that it's true
Don't say that this is the end
Instead of breaking up I wish that we were catching up again

I beg of you, don't say goodbye
Can't we give our blogs another try
Come on baby, let's start a new
'Cause catching up is hard to do



It may take me awhile, but I promise I'll catch up as soon as I can!

Stuck: A Magpie Tale

Stuck in the mud

Wheels spinning

The more you try

The farther you sink 

Until you're totally immobilized 

Spring turns to summer 

And summer turns to fall

Rust begins to form

Yet you keep on fighting it

Sooner or later

It's best to give in

Get out of the truck

And walk back into town

Before winter closes in on you

And you're stuck there forever

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Willow over at Life at Willow Manor  has been providing inspiration for bloggers with her photo prompts on a site called Magpie Tales.  Be sure to check out the other fabulous writers participating in Magpie Tales this week.  You'll be glad you did! 

SNAFU

So, as you may have surmised from my extended silence, life has not been exactly peachy keen at Boom Boom's house.  But then, the way my life has been going for the past several years, I guess it's not all that surprising.  It seems the term SNAFU was created just for me.  The WWII acronym for Situation Normal: All Fucked Up describes my life perfectly.

Take last Sunday, for example.  Late in the day I decided it was time to do some laundry to prepare for the week ahead.  However, I wasn't counting on encountering the water that seeped into the basement after the afternoon deluge.  Situation Normal.  I figured I'd simply mop things up and go on with my task.  Things were going well until I slipped in the water and wrenched my back.  Severe pain.  All fucked up.

But, having just gone to the chiropractor, I actually remembered the exercises to get my herniated disc back where it's supposed to be.  All I needed was a glass of wine and some ibuprofen to get back on track.  Plus an ice pack thrown in for good measure.  Situation normal.   With all necessary medical equipment in hand I settled into my recliner.  Only to spill the glass of wine all over the end table.  Wine everywhere.  Puppy frantically trying to lap up wine and my back too stiff to reach something to mop up wine.  All fucked up. 

But wait... all was not lost... I noticed tissues next to chair.  Situation normal.  As I began throwing tissues on wine dripping off table, the puppy saw them as extra bonus treat.  Puppy began chewing on wine-soaked tissues.  All fucked up. 

And so began another week in the exciting life of Boom Boom.

Yeah, SNAFU is a pretty apt description of my life these days.  *sigh*

Unimaginable Terror: A Magpie Tale

The photo on the flea market table

struck terror into her heart.

The piercing eyes,

the eerie nimbus created by back-lighting,

the white line descending from her eye like a milky tear.

Terror.

Unimaginable fear.

The thought that in the end

the remnants of one's life

would be relegated to strangers

for a dollar ninety-nine

on a flea market table.

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Willow over at Life at Willow Manor  has been providing inspiration for bloggers with her photo prompts on a site called Magpie Tales.  Be sure to check out the other fabulous writers participating in Magpie Tales this week.  You'll be glad you did! 

I Have a New Man in My Life!

Well, a new puppy, anyway... 

How are things going after the first week?

 

Most importantly, Henry learned from day one that the potty is outside. 

 

 He sleeps through the night in his puppy cave, (as opposed to a man cave,) in the kitchen.

 

He met the vet, weighed in at 6.1 pounds and got a clean bill of health.

He won the hearts of many, including the 50-odd children at the Home for Wayward Wee Ones.

(He did not try to eat the Wee Ones, but patiently let them maul pet him.)

Here are just a few of Henry's new human friends...

As well as new canine and feline friends....

 Henry worked on learning what is and what is NOT a chew toy...

He found cozy places to snooze after his outings...

And he spent some serious quality time on my lap... 

 

What's not to love?

Moving on to Bigger and Better Things

Today marks the first anniversary of my mom's send-off, which started the year from hell.  Dead mom, dead dog, dead aunt, dead father-out-law, broken leg, five months with no income due to broken leg... enough said!   For a review of the highlights:

How to Host a Funeral... CatLady Style

Hickory in Wonderland

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Out

Getting All Up In There

We're on a roll now, planning on living life in as grand a manner as is possible on the small stipend I receive for my labors at the home for wayward wee ones.  And so far it's going well.  Vlad graduated summa cum laude from college last month and this month we're welcoming a new addition to the family.   

 Vlad & Henry... My favorite boys!

Yeah... I'd say life is pretty damn good right now...