I went camping again this week, but this time just to add novelty... I actually camped with some other people I know. Imagine that!
I had posted a "World's Worst Camping Trip" contest several months ago and my friend Wendy won for her story of little Jacob's suitcase floating out of their tent during a flood many years ago.
Nanodance also won, but she "claimed" to be sick this week so she couldn't go. Likely story. I know she was really staying home watching stupid shit on YouTube and trying to sneak cats into my house. See what you missed, Nanodance! You could have been relaxing with Wendy and me in the idyllic setting shown to the right. But, NOOOO! You had to be sick!
Anyway, Wendy not only participated, she brought her entire family with her! Yes, Big Bill, Sweet Natalie & Jacob (who's not so little anymore) also risked life and limb to camp with me. Wendy and I go way back to when I was Natalie's kindergarten teacher. Since I already warped Sweet Natalie beyond repair, Wendy must have figured she had nothing to lose by allowing her family to spend additional time with me. And her trust in me was proven to be sound. During the course of their two-night stay, no one was injured or carried away by bears. (I swear, Jacob's toe was mangled before we went camping!)
We had a good old time together, though. We shared stories around the campfire and I turned them on to the "roll-o-roaster" and other camping delights. They shared some of their favorite camping traditions with me as well.
Turns out they do stupid stuff, too! For example, they introduced me to the thrill of melting aluminum cans in the campfire. Fascinating! (And here I was wasting all that time and energy returning the cans to the store.) Before you knew it, we were scouring the campground looking for all sort of crap we could melt... just add fire and voila!
Pyromaniacs! I LOVE these people!
The next morning, Big Bill stopped by my campsite to give me his latest example of pyro-art. Seems he has his own tradition of staying up late and enjoying a little nip of tequila around the old campfire. And he drank the entire bottle, just so he could contribute the glass container it came in to the cause. What dedication! Anything for pyro-art. I was so proud I almost cried.
Here's what a pint of Jose Cuervo looks like after being sacrificed to the flames:
It used to look different until Jacob started messing around with it and broke a couple pieces off. But, no worries, that just gave me more reasons to experiment the next few nights with re-fusing the broken parts onto the original glob-o-melted-glass. All in the name of science, of course.
Now it almost looks kinda naughty... like what Vulcan's poop must look like... or like something that should go into Miss Yvonne's "For Your Nymphomation Adult Toy Chest."*
Given more time and a truck load of firewood, who knows what it could look like.
And here I've been wasting my time with a cheap "box-o-wine" when I go camping. Next time I'm taking this bad boy with me...
I bet that a bottle of Jose Cuervo and my new found dedication to pyro-art could even entice Nanodance to go camping with me. (And if she isn't sick before she goes, odds are she sure could be afterward!)
Cheers!
*Miss Yvonne's blog is not suitable for all ages, but if you're looking for something a little different....
