Wednesday, July 1, 2009

It Ain't Over 'Til the Cat Lady Cleans



For those of you thinking I'll just be lounging around all summer now that I'm unemployed...

Think again!

Yes, there will be lots of time for relaxation.  But there's also the small matter of this quote from Vladimir:

"So, now that you'll be home every day,
you'll have time to clean the house."

Say, WHAT?  Are you freakin' kidding me?  This from the lad who still has his crap from college crammed in his car?  The lad who feels he needs a clean glass for each sip of water he takes, leaving a pile of dishes on the counter for me?  The lad whose room you can't enter because there's no place to put your feet?  Just because he's gainfully employed doesn't give him the right to get all sanctimonious about it!

But wait!  Actually, I can't complain... because I taught him everything he knows.  Makes a Cat Lady so proud!  Clutter is a requirement of all Cat Ladies, after all.   However, there comes a time when even the Cat Lady Cleans out of necessity.  

Around every school break, I tell everyone I'm actually going to clean my house. And fail miserably in achieving that goal.  That's because first I have to take care of the clutter.  I couldn't even get a vacuum cleaner into the room, let alone suck up all the dirt until the clutter's gone.  For example, here's what my sun room currently looks like, following the removal of all the crap from my office at school:


At least there's still a small spot left for me to step into the room.  (Note visibility of rug just in front of chair.)  I actually did vacuum that wee spot the other day... only to get the crumbs up off the floor so that I could walk to my recliner barefoot without being punctured by the hard, sharp little pieces of leftover doggy biscuit.


Sadly, the same can not be said for the area around my desk... which is why laptops were invented and why I always sit in my recliner to write.  

We have, however, reached emergency conditions as I can no longer recline in the recliner because of all the crap around it.

So... the first few days of my unemployment, I'll be spending at least a few minutes each day uncluttering the place.

Which should make Vladimir very happy.  As well as Hickory the Wonder Dog, since he'll once again be able to sit at my feet and look up at me adoringly.  (As he asks for another doggy biscuit.)

The only question remains... where do I shovel all this crap to next?  The attic and basement are already packed and my charming home only sports three small closets with a combined space of about 6 cubic feet. (And you can't even get to the closets if you wanted to because of additional crap blocking the doors to them.)

Maybe I could rent one of those portable storage containers next....



5 comments:

Nanodance said...

You could take it up to the moon to join the rest of the stuff we left there.

Wow! Your recliner can't recline. That is serious.

Larew said...

If only I had a scong to help pick things up!

Madame DeFarge said...

You could put it in Vlad's car, just for safe-keeping. Why should he have all the space?

Canadian Blend said...

>> This from the lad who still has his crap from college crammed in his car? The lad who feels he needs a clean glass for each sip of water he takes, leaving a pile of dishes on the counter for me?<<

I can't say I'm a fan of the way these two sentences read. I'd hoped by the time they reached college my boys would have figured out they can use the same glass more than once.

CatLadyLarew said...

CB: Perhaps there's still hope for your boys... they weren't raised by me!

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