Sunday, August 26, 2012

"Travels with Henry" or "No, I'm Not Really an Ax Murderess"

The great thing about having a dog is that people cut you a lot of slack. Especially when the pup is too cute for their own good. Take for example, my recent trip to Canada. I was off to meet up with that intrepid blogger, nonamedufus.  

Rumor has it that this is what Dufus looks like in real life.
(At least that's what his brother would have you believe.)

You know what they say about encountering people you meet online... they always turn out to be ax murderers. Which means they're convinced, in turn, that you are also an ax murderess.

So, in order to perpetuate that stereotype, I never leave home without my trusty ax. It helped me survive my first close encounter with another blogger, Unfinished Person, earlier this summer. It was touch and go for a moment or two, but we called a truce before things got ugly...

In truth, Unfinished will never make it big as an ax murderer,
since he looks too much like a happy pirate.
Since we parted ways without finishing each other off, Still Unfinished (as he is also known) vouched for me with Dufus. That, plus the fact that I have a cute dog and the fact that Dufus had back-up in the guise of his lovely mate, Maryse, garnered me an invite to Chez Dufus. So, off we went... Henry, myself, a peace offering of a couple bottles of wine, and my trusty ax under the passenger seat of the car.  

Now, it's all well and good when you're off to meet American bloggers. However, a meeting with Dufus is somewhat more complicated since he happens to be Canadian. Which means you also need travel documents beyond the mapquest directions to Dufus's house. Passport and Henry's rabies certificate in hand, I reached the border.  

Canadian Customs Officer (examining travel documents which have been surrendered):  "What's the purpose of your visit to Canada, today?"  

Boom Boom:  "To have dinner with friends in Ottawa." (*Whom I've never met before and who are probably thinking I'm an ax murderess*) 

Canadian Customs Officer:  "Are you carrying any weapons with you?"

Boom Boom:  (*What? You mean like the ax I have under the passenger seat?*) "No." 

Canadian Customs Officer:  "Are you taking anything with you that you intend to leave in Canada?"

Boom Boom:  "No."  (*Except for the wine.*)

Canadian Customs Officer:  "Are you carrying any alcohol, tobacco or firearms?"

Boom Boom:  "No."  (*Lying through my teeth!*)

Henry:  "Woof!"

Canadian Customs Officer (smiling):  "Say, that's the cutest dog I've seen in a long time!"

Boom Boom: "Yes, too cute for his own good!"

Canadian Customs Officer (still smiling as he hands my travel documents back to me):  "Have a good day, eh?"

Boom Boom (as she drives away from the checkpoint):  "Good dog!  You're getting an extra treat tonight!"

And so it was that I was allowed to enter Canada and met Dufus and Maryse. As for how I knew Dufus wasn't an ax murderer? It was when I asked how to pronounce his wife's name. He replied, "Mahreeez...," pretending to tease her for being Quebecois. But I could tell, he really thinks she's magical... nobody can be an ax murderer who says his wife's name like that! Dufus has way too much love in his heart! That was also when Henry started giving him doggy kisses... and Henry's a good judge of character.

The lovely Maryse. whose birthday also happens to be today!

    Boom Boom, Henry and Dufus.               

"Now... who to visit next?,"  she asks herself as she puts a fine edge back on her ax.  

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