Great news! My friend, Cherie (of the House of Evil where people who enter break limbs), offered to make me a suit out of bubble wrap to prevent further injuries. Then I remember something I'd seen that would offer another way to protect myself as a bona fide klutz.....
Perfect! Definitely the safest mode of ambulation for accident prone people such as myself.
Then again, maybe not....
Damn... it's always something!