Every once in awhile life throws me for a loop. It's not any one thing, but a series of setbacks that puts me in a hole that becomes difficult to climb out of.
Within a 12 month period, I lost the job that I'd been immersed in for 15 years and that had become my identity, I went through all my savings before finding a new job, I lowered my standard of living so that the first time in 30 years I'm living paycheck to paycheck, I fell down my attic stairs and re-injured my knee, a bunch of stuff in my house started falling apart at the same time, (water coming through your living room ceiling is NOT a good thing,) my mom died and then as the icing on the cake, Hickory the Wonder Dog died.
Despite all that, I was holding my own until late August. Then with the approach of a new school year, I was reminded of the cumulative losses of the past year. I suddenly felt alone and bereft. It seemed like I lost my identity. Life became overwhelming.
I began isolating myself, managing to go to work but then coming home and sleeping a lot. I stopped taking care of myself, stopped eating well and let the housework pile up. I was essentially becoming a zombie.
I knew I'd been wallowing for too long when Jon Stewart came up with his Rally to Restore Sanity. Sure, I know you're thinking, "Hey, CatLady, it's not always about YOU!", but it felt like a personal invitation to me at just the right time. Plus, I started getting emails from Quirky and Jayne and Linda, asking where I was. Finally, a lifeline back to sanity!
So, this week I went to the grocery store to buy some vegetables instead of junk food, I got a haircut and I started seeing friends again. I shuffled off to Buffalo to take Vlad to dinner and realized after I got home that I spent the entire day without any knee pain. Amazing! So, I must be getting better. No more wallowing in self-pity... because that really is totally unbecoming. I guess it's time to crawl out of my hole.
definitely not proud to be an american
2 weeks ago