Monday, September 5, 2011

Stuck: A Magpie Tale



Stuck in the mud
Wheels spinning
The more you try
The farther you sink 
Until you're totally immobilized 

Spring turns to summer 
And summer turns to fall
Rust begins to form
Yet you keep on fighting it

Sooner or later
It's best to give in
Get out of the truck
And walk back into town
Before winter closes in on you
And you're stuck there forever


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Willow over at Life at Willow Manor  has been providing inspiration for bloggers with her photo prompts on a site called Magpie Tales.  Be sure to check out the other fabulous writers participating in Magpie Tales this week.  You'll be glad you did! 

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

SNAFU

So, as you may have surmised from my extended silence, life has not been exactly peachy keen at Boom Boom's house.  But then, the way my life has been going for the past several years, I guess it's not all that surprising.  It seems the term SNAFU was created just for me.  The WWII acronym for Situation Normal: All Fucked Up describes my life perfectly.

Take last Sunday, for example.  Late in the day I decided it was time to do some laundry to prepare for the week ahead.  However, I wasn't counting on encountering the water that seeped into the basement after the afternoon deluge.  Situation Normal.  I figured I'd simply mop things up and go on with my task.  Things were going well until I slipped in the water and wrenched my back.  Severe pain.  All fucked up.


But, having just gone to the chiropractor, I actually remembered the exercises to get my herniated disc back where it's supposed to be.  All I needed was a glass of wine and some ibuprofen to get back on track.  Plus an ice pack thrown in for good measure.  Situation normal.   With all necessary medical equipment in hand I settled into my recliner.  Only to spill the glass of wine all over the end table.  Wine everywhere.  Puppy frantically trying to lap up wine and my back too stiff to reach something to mop up wine.  All fucked up. 

But wait... all was not lost... I noticed tissues next to chair.  Situation normal.  As I began throwing tissues on wine dripping off table, the puppy saw them as extra bonus treat.  Puppy began chewing on wine-soaked tissues.  All fucked up. 

And so began another week in the exciting life of Boom Boom.

Yeah, SNAFU is a pretty apt description of my life these days.  *sigh*

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Unimaginable Terror: A Magpie Tale



The photo on the flea market table

struck terror into her heart.

The piercing eyes,

the eerie nimbus created by back-lighting,

the white line descending from her eye like a milky tear.

Terror.

Unimaginable fear.

The thought that in the end

the remnants of one's life

would be relegated to strangers

for a dollar ninety-nine

on a flea market table.



* * * * * * * * * * * *
Willow over at Life at Willow Manor  has been providing inspiration for bloggers with her photo prompts on a site called Magpie Tales.  Be sure to check out the other fabulous writers participating in Magpie Tales this week.  You'll be glad you did! 

Saturday, June 25, 2011

I Have a New Man in My Life!

Well, a new puppy, anyway... 

How are things going after the first week?
 
Most importantly, Henry learned from day one that the potty is outside
 
 He sleeps through the night in his puppy cave, (as opposed to a man cave,) in the kitchen.
 
He met the vet, weighed in at 6.1 pounds and got a clean bill of health.

He won the hearts of many, including the 50-odd children at the Home for Wayward Wee Ones.
(He did not try to eat the Wee Ones, but patiently let them maul pet him.)

Here are just a few of Henry's new human friends...


As well as new canine and feline friends....



 Henry worked on learning what is and what is NOT a chew toy...


He found cozy places to snooze after his outings...



And he spent some serious quality time on my lap... 

What's not to love?

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Moving on to Bigger and Better Things

Today marks the first anniversary of my mom's send-off, which started the year from hell.  Dead mom, dead dog, dead aunt, dead father-out-law, broken leg, five months with no income due to broken leg... enough said!   For a review of the highlights:


We're on a roll now, planning on living life in as grand a manner as is possible on the small stipend I receive for my labors at the home for wayward wee ones.  And so far it's going well.  Vlad graduated summa cum laude from college last month and this month we're welcoming a new addition to the family.   

 Vlad & Henry... My favorite boys!

Yeah... I'd say life is pretty damn good right now...

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Ear Piercing for Dummies

I am not one for body art or piercings.  I've seen some fabulous body art over the years, but it's just not for me.  And although I do have one hole in each earlobe, nobody's touching my tongue, my nose, my navel, or even my outer conch cartilage with a needle.  I'm far too squeamish! 


Back in the 60's ear piercing was only just coming into vogue with the teen set in Iowa.  And unless your were from some exotic country, the only thing you pierced was your ears.  There weren't earring stands in the Mall where you could easily get your ears done.  Hell, there wasn't even a Mall!  So that left either going to a doctor to have it done (if you could find one who would do it) or stabbing yourself in the ear. 

My older sister used some "auto piercers" so she could attach colorful appendages to her lobes.  Basically, they were sharp metal rings that would gradually squeeze their way through the ears.  Too painful for too long!  My parents thought she was nuts and I agreed. 

But when I was in the ninth grade, I decided it would up my "cool" factor to have pierced ears.  The thought of a needle working its way through my tender ear flesh creeped me out, but the longing to be "cool" was a strong one.  For some reason, I figured my parents wouldn't let me have my ears pierced, though, so I took matters into my own hands.  Or rather, my friend Nancy Pilmer took matters into her hands.  I thought Nancy was cool because not only did she have pierced ears... she'd been to California!  Groovy!  Nancy convinced me that with a cork from a bottle of wine, a sewing needle, some matches to sterilize the needle, and some string, she could bring me into the 60's before the 70's rolled around.  All we needed was a place to do it. 

Where to go, where to go?  We needed somewhere with water so we could keep things "sterile".   Our houses weren't viable surgical sites because someone might catch us in the act.  Doing it at school was also "unsafe".  Besides, we didn't have that much time between classes and lighting matches in the bathroom might give the wrong idea. 

So, we ended up in the bathroom of our neighborhood grocery store.  Yep... the pristine public bathroom.  All we had to do was grab a chunk of ice from the freezer section to numb my ears and we were in business.  After a half hour of hemming and hawing on my part, I offered up my lobes to Nancy.  Within a few minutes the deed was done.  I was now cool.  I had ears with string in them! 

By the end of the week, my ears were so inflamed with infection that my science teacher noticed and insisted I go to the school nurse.  She, in turn, called my parents.  With my long hair, they still hadn't noticed the oozing holes in my ears.  After they told me what an idiot I was, they got me a pair of earrings and made me clean my ears with hydrogen peroxide every day until the infection cleared up.

After a few more weeks my ears became infected again... this time because of the cheap earrings.  It turns out I'm allergic to most metals and can only use sterling silver or gold earrings.  Plus the holes in my ears are off center and one's kind of droopy.  But I succeeded in my quest for coolness!  So what if I nearly died from blood poisoning?  Details, details....

Let's just say I wasn't the sharpest needle in the pin cushion back then. 

Friday, May 27, 2011

Starstruck


Ever have one of those days when you feel like a total loser?  When you figure you might as well beat everyone else to the punch and laugh at yourself first?  I’ve had plenty and I’ve written about most of them.  Still, one of the best stories I’ve ever heard came from a Unitarian Universalist minister, Martha Munson. 

Martha was vacationing in Westport, Connecticut one summer and happened to stop in at an ice cream parlor. Who should be sitting there at the counter, drinking a cup of coffee, but Paul Newman.  (Yes, that one...  the late, great actor.)

Not wanting to be branded a gawking tourist, Martha casually ordered her ice cream to go, paid, got her change from the cashier and turned toward the door, giving a quick smile to Mr. Newman who actually smiled back with those incredible blue eyes!  She was the epitome of cool.

Or so she thought. 

As she stood out on the sidewalk, she realized she was still holding the change the cashier had given her but was without the ice cream cone.  What to do?  Should she just walk away?  Should she go back in and admit she was too star-struck to pick up her cone?

What the hell… she might as well go back for the ice cream.  So what if he thought she was silly?

Martha stepped up to the counter waiting for the server to notice her, all the while hoping Paul Newman wouldn’t notice her.  No such luck.

Without missing a beat and without even turning toward her, Mr. Newman addressed her with four short words that would forever haunt her…

“It’s in your purse.”

Gaaagh!

Some days you wish you'd just stayed in bed!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Homemade is still best!

No matter how you cut it, homemade cards from your child are still the best...


Thanks, Vlad!
Love you!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Beautiful Stories: A Magpie Tale


From the time she was a little girl, she loved books.  There weren't many books written specifically for children back then.  The first book she ever owned, that was hers alone, she won in a contest at school.  She pored over the pages of Edith Nesbit's Beautiful Stories from Shakespeare, savoring each word, each illustration.  It introduced her to the intriguing world of the bard and it was her most treasured possession.

From that point on, she was never without a book.  When she established her own home, she found five feet of shelf space to accommodate the Harvard Classics.  She became a "regular" at the local library, carrying home stacks of books each week.  When children came along, she read them A.A. Milne at bedtime until they could recite "James James Morrison Morrison..." by heart.  That one small volume created a safe haven for banishing bad dreams.  She taught her children that books could take them anywhere and teach them anything.

The more she read, the more she dreamed of seeing the world.  She finally realized that dream in her middle years, bringing back mementos that would trigger a memory here, a story to be told there.  It always came back to the stories.
 
In the end, books became her last refuge.  Her world became smaller as her hearing faded.  When she could no longer follow conversations, she was left with her books.  They never failed her.  Through them her life remained rich and as always, full of beautiful stories.

* * * * * * * * * * * *
Willow over at Life at Willow Manor  has been providing inspiration for bloggers with her photo prompts on a site called Magpie Tales.  Be sure to check out the other fabulous writers participating in Magpie Tales this week.  You'll be glad you did! 

Friday, May 6, 2011

Save Bacon's bacon!


Yes, I'm afraid it's true.  Someone has taken Bacon hostage and refuses to release him until a ransom is paid.  Won't you please help?

Think about it.  What would your life be like without Bacon?  An LT sandwich just doesn't cut the mustard.  Eggs will die of loneliness.  Social Security will be bankrupted by all the extra seniors living past their expiration date. 

Even the smallest donation... just a mere dollar... can help save Bacon's bacon.  Can't you find a dollar for a friend? 

A Polaroid of Bacon arrived at the Tribal Blogs office just today.  I warn you... it's not a pretty sight.  But I feel I must show it to you to point out the urgency of Bacon's situation.


Horrible, just horrible!  I had to look away the first time I saw it.  Osama Bin Laden's death mask is nothing compared to this!

So I ask you again, won't you help?  Please give generously and give often.   Thank you on behalf of Bacon lovers everywhere!
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