Yes, I'm afraid it's true. Someone has taken Bacon hostage and refuses to release him until a ransom is paid. Won't you please help?
Think about it. What would your life be like without Bacon? An LT sandwich just doesn't cut the mustard. Eggs will die of loneliness. Social Security will be bankrupted by all the extra seniors living past their expiration date.
Even the smallest donation... just a mere dollar... can help save Bacon's bacon. Can't you find a dollar for a friend?
A Polaroid of Bacon arrived at the Tribal Blogs office just today. I warn you... it's not a pretty sight. But I feel I must show it to you to point out the urgency of Bacon's situation.
Horrible, just horrible! I had to look away the first time I saw it. Osama Bin Laden's death mask is nothing compared to this!
So I ask you again, won't you help? Please give generously and give often. Thank you on behalf of Bacon lovers everywhere!