Saturday, February 23, 2013

Absurd (30M2DoW: Day 23)

This is it!  Nicky and CheesyMike's Surreal and Absurd Weekend Festival!  Be sure to stop by the Cheese Shack (an absurdity in itself) to check out all the surreal and absurd entries in today's "30 Minus 2 Days of Writing" challenge.

It's the absurdities of life that keep me going.  I don't know why, but they amuse me.  Probably why I'm always so delighted with the real life adventures of that scamp, Indigo Roth, since his tales epitomize the absurd.  When I'm down in the dumps, he can always cheer me up.  Someday I want to be him... living with a lion, consorting with badgers, enjoying time travel to exotic places... what's not to like?

But I digress.  Here's an example of what I'm talking about....

One day about two years ago I was a little discouraged about life.  My leg was broken, I'd lost my job, my dog, and my will to live.  The Aflac duck was chortling about the fact that I canceled my policy a year previously.  "Damn you for adding insult to injury, you fowl piece of crap!"

Suddenly there was a tapping sound coming from my not-so-decorative fireplace.  I hobbled over and pulled away the fireplace screen, pushing the electric logs from the firebox with my crutch.  It was then I noticed the small metal plate where the flue would have been were it an actual wood-burning fireplace.

When I turned the latch that held the plate, a cloud of soot came rushing out of the gap above.  Choking, I fanned the air in front of me.  I saw a tall, dapper gentleman standing there.  It took me but a moment to recognize him, since he wasn't accompanied by Lion.  As he dusted off his three piece suit, there was another cloud of soot and I was overcome by another fit of coughing.  "It's time to go," said Indigo.

Max's new caravan which he named "Bedlam"
Before I could even blink, we were outdoors and there was a caravan parked on my front lawn.  My lungs were clear, my crutches were gone and I was pain free.  "This is absurd," I said.  "No, this is Bedlam," said the newest arrival, Max Tunguska.  "And I'll thank you not to go slashing my tyres again!"

The door of the caravan opened and out stepped a petite woman holding a cup with an image of herself emblazoned on the outside.  The aroma from her coffee brought me back to reality... or whatever strange world this was.  She smiled and waved a hello as Indigo said, "Get in. We have to get to Montreal before the weekend is over.  Nicky's expecting us."

"Oh, no!  Please tell me this isn't the weekend.  I thought that wasn't happening for another two years," I exclaimed.  "I'm not prepared."

"Prepared or not,  we're expected and it wouldn't be cricket to leave the rest of the gang wondering what happened to us," said Indigo.  "Besides, we never did find that Caerphilly cheese."

And with that, we were whisked away to the "Surreal and Absurd Weekend Festival."

Yes, it's the absurdities that make life worth living.
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