At first I thought I was dreaming, but once I was fully awake I realized that there really was a sound coming through my ceiling! Except that it actually sounded a little more like sawing wood. Maybe I was still asleep after all.
Nope. There it was again. This time it sounded a little more like scampering. Then a scraping noise. Maybe Santa was trying to shovel some of the snow off my roof to deliver my well deserved gifts?
No... definitely sawing. Guess I should have purchased a home with a real fireplace instead of a "decorative" one. Then Santa wouldn't have to saw through the roof to get all those packages to me.
Wait a minute... I do recognize that sound. Crap! I've done this all before.* It's not Santa! It's an evil squirrel come to chew through my electrical wires and burn my house down!
Well, now that we've figured that one out, I guess I'll just drift off peacefully back to sleep.... no worries...
Yeah... and a Merry Freakin' Christmas to you, too!
*See The Mating Habits of Squirrels.