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Now, you may think that my sojourn into the realm of camping last week was totally idyllic and it was. But in true CatLady fashion, it was not without incident.
All was well until the morning of departure, when I woke up to the sound of a thunderstorm. No problem. I've packed up in the rain before. But damn... the humidity! Killer! I hate to sweat, so I was not a happy camper, literally or figuratively. By the time I was finished packing, I had to unpack my pack again in order to find clothes that were not soaking wet with sweat. Otherwise, I couldn't bear to be in the same car with myself for the 180 mile drive home. I managed to find a skort (so very stylish) and a clean t-shirt in the bottom of my bag. I was left with wet shoes, but those were easily removed for the trip.
It was an enjoyable drive and the miles passed quickly as I listened to a David Sedaris book on tape.
All was well until I was a half mile from home. As I was rounding a corner on the expressway, the camping gear- and kayak-laden car swerved suddenly. WTF? It wasn't even windy or anything!
100 yards down the road I discovered why I had swerved... flump, flump, flump, flump. Pfffft!
B...l...o...w O...u...t!
Not to worry... I'm a she-woman. I know how to change a flat tire. Simply unload half the crap in the car to get to the spare tire. Unload the other half to get to the jack. Pry off hubcap. Loosen lug nuts.... loosen lug nuts.... loosen... Damn!
When in doubt, call AAA.
That is, call AAA if you have any juice left in your cell phone after a week of camping.
Double Damn!
Stand by side of road looking helpless and thanking the goddess that you managed to find the clean skort and t-shirt to put on so oncoming motorists can't smell the damsel in distress from a mile away.
(Paula/Pauline... it's basically the same.)
Wait approximately 5 minutes, debating whether to just walk home...
Notice neat white truck, pulling off road just ahead...
See friendly looking man in painter pants start walking toward damsel in distress...
Help is on the way! I'm saved!
From now on, all my painting needs are going to be taken care of by Ryan and Sons, House Painters Extraordinaire! Kind, courteous, manly men, ready to help at a moment's notice.
Life is good!
