The World is Mine!

My new passport came today.  Along with it came a little brochure titled, "With Your U.S. Passport, the World is Yours!"  

Mine?!?!  

Why, how very thoughtful of them!  I feel like I won the most colossal grand prize ever! Had I only known, I might have signed up years earlier.  (My last passport was issued in 1985, before they were giving away the world.)  

Of course, the world being mine brings up some important questions.  

For example, if the world belongs to me...

~Can I make up the rules? 

~Can I live wherever I want, displacing other people from their homes?

~Is it just the world that is mine, or do I get to keep everything in it?

~Am I going to have to clean the whole darn place?

~Where am I going to keep this world that is now mine?

~Am I the only one who got this brochure...  or am I going to have to share my prize with someone else?  If I have to share, how will we divide the world up?  

Sadly, the brochure doesn't list where I can go to collect my colossal grand prize.  I don't know if I should get there on a certain day, or if I need three forms of identification to claim my prize. Will they come to my house with balloons and a giant check?  

"Pay to the order of Larew ~ One World and no cents"  

Will there be a big celebration to mark the occasion?  I hope they tell me soon so I can invite all my bestest friends!  

All I know for sure is...

THE WORLD IS MINE!